As a 22 year old woman, I'm at the point in my life where I'm deciding what I want to do whilst discovering who I am. I'm in college, working towards my career, socializing with friends (sort of), and essentially, since I am so career oriented, doing a very bad job at being a young person while still trying to live my life to the fullest.

I'm also at the point where a lot of my friends are headed in the opposite direction. A lot of them are getting married, settling down, having children, and building a family.

I'm not going to be that judgemental b*tch who condemns this lifestyle because guess what? For some people, it's the perfect state of being. For them.

But I am not one of those people. And I'm sick to death of hearing about it.

I've never shied away from the fact that I'm not a fan of traditional, government regulated marriage and that, hold onto your pearls, soccer moms, I don't want children. Well, it's not fair to say that I don't want these things, but the truth is I'm young and practically married to my writing career. This is something I don't even want to think about for at least another ten years, and even at that, I probably still won't be ready.

If you're like me, of the "independent woman who doesn't need or want a man" variety, you know that everyone and their brother has a whole lot of opinion about this particular life.

For years I've been extremely vocal about the way I want to lead my life, and almost every single time, it's met with the same predictable responses.

"One day you'll meet the right guy who will change your mind!"

"Everybody wants to settle down!"

And the ever popular, "You'll change your mind about kids someday!"

I'm not even going to address the first one because between being queer and being a d*mn lesbian, finding the "right guy" isn't exactly a priority for me.

But if I were to address it, I would say this: I'm not a fan of marriage. Hell, I'm not a fan of romantic relationships in general. I don't particularly like the idea at this point in my life of having to owe anyone an explanation as to how I spend my time. I like being able to go about my business. And as an aspiring writer and director, I keep weird hours and habits. How practical, or easy to explain, would this be for me to explain or rationalize to someone I marry?

Not very, if they're of the traditional type.

I like to joke around and say that I'm married to my career, but honestly, it's the truth. I want to be a writer and I want to make movies. I've wanted this my whole life and while I know getting married wouldn't mean I have to give this up, there are a lot of people out there who would ask me to. Even if I had the time or the desire for a traditional marriage, would I want to be with someone who asked me to give that all up?

No, because my career was here first, and that's where my energy belongs.

That's not to say that you can't have marriage and a career by any means. But anyone who knows me knows that writing is very much my life and that the marriage analogy is, if anything, an understatement.

How does a marriage work when there are effectively three entities? To quote Shakira, "Tango was not meant for three, was never meant to be."

At some point, everyone likes to settle down in one way or another, there's no denying that. As someone who's always lived in an apartment, the idea of a house with a pool in the countryside is actually very appealing. But I don't understand why "settling down" has to be synonymous with "marriage and kids are your whole life now, good luck."

I've had it said to me before that one day I'll marry the right man who will "keep me in line." While I don't know what specifically was meant by that, I will say that there are people out there looking for a traditional house wife. The idea of me being that woman is laughable, considering I burn ice and hate cleaning with a passion.

Being a housewife and stay at home mother is hard work. Let me dispel that misconception for those of you who don't know: it's not an easy feat. It's a feat that I could certainly never accomplish because it's just not suited for me.

I don't think that me being home and doing these things will make my life meaningful. It may for some people, but not for me. Besides, if I do ever settle down, if my spouse is that hungry, they can fix it themselves unless they want to eat char and burn for supper every night.

Another facet of "settling down" is the children. Every soccer mom within a 10 mile radius clutches their chests when I utter the dreaded phrase "I don't want kids, ever." And the knee jerk response is always, as with the previous two, "you'll change your mind someday!"

First of all, I'm a grown woman, not a child. This "you'll change your mind" talk is extremely harmful because it effectively infantilizes and condescends to them like you would a child.

Guess what people? I've been saying I don't want kids since I was 14 years old. I'm clearly not changing my mind any time soon, if I do at all.

Motherhood is a calling, a calling that has not been made to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll be a proud mama to a very nice assortment of cats somewhere in the future, I can't ever see myself being someone's mother.

Call it selfish, but I have a career to tend to. I have things I want to do without having to be tied down to obligations. That is my choice, and I am happy with it.

The thing is that other people aren't happy, like I have some obligation to be someone's wife and mother. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll meet a lovely girl one day and we'll have our little wedding somewhere far, far, far down the line. But my first obligation is to myself, because I am a very independent person.

My best friend has been married for a few years and has just had her first child. She's exhausted, because as I said, motherhood is no joke, but she's happy because this is the life she wants for herself. So let it not be twisted, I'm not trying to shame anyone for their choice to lead a traditional life. I think it's great because being a housewife and mother requires a set of skills I will never have.

What I hope you take away from this is that people who say "I don't want to get married" or "I'm never having kids" aren't asking for your input. They've likely made these decisions based on what is best for their life. All we want is for you to respect that, is that too much to ask?