I was the girl who didn't hook up with guys from parties or the bars in college. I was too busy enjoying the time I had with my friends. I had a couple relationships in high school, but they were childish and immature. I had no idea what love was. You were different. The day I met you, I went back to your place. You were charming and kind, something that drew me in. I don't remember how I fell so fast. Maybe it was the good morning texts or maybe it was at night when we would be lying in bed, and cuddling with you just melted away the stress of that day.

I am always the girl that gets attached too quickly, or moves things too fast. I knew this was different because you showed that you wanted this to last. You started talking about after graduation in a couple months how you would incorporate me into your life. I didn't want to get attached, but it was impossible not to. You baked cookies with me and played xbox all night. I thought you were the one. We started dating on Valentine's day after I gave you chicken nuggets from Mcdonald's that said "Be my Valentine?" A couple days later we went to the store, you said you forgot to grab something so you ran back inside. I had no idea what you were doing. You brought me these beautiful roses. You said they weren't the best, but I had never received flowers from a significant other before. It meant the world to me.

You said it first. I was surprised, but looking back, you said it at a wedding which is a celebration of just that, love. To this day, I can clearly see that moment. I love you, with a goofy smile on your face. I met a lot of your family that day. Your sister told me I fit right in, and I fell for you even more. I thought we could actually be something. That day holds many memories for me, and I will never forget them.

It was shortly after that that we fell apart. To this day, I don't know what happened. We would fight about stupid things, your ego would get the best of you. We didn't know how to communicate our feelings, and it put a dent in our relationship. Two weeks before graduation, we mutually ended things and I still think it was for the best. The relationship was about to become long distance due to jobs and graduate school, but I just wish we could have celebrated graduation together. Except, we only kind of broke up and had sex for a week after. I am pretty sure that is what ripped my heart out since it just gave me hope that maybe it might just work out.

You started your job and I spent three months preparing to move away to start graduate school. The problem was that I couldn't let go because I just kept thinking about you and what you were doing. I just wanted to text you and restart everything. I was always obsessing and overthinking. You would randomly text me every now and then, and I would gain hope. You were just lonely, and I was willing to give you attention. I see that now. Unfortunately, it took me a while to see that. All of my friends hated you, and hate is a strong word. Whenever I would bring you up, my friends would say things like " you are way better off without him" and " Dude he's soo ugly. You can do so much better." It would hurt because I still loved you and hoped. 5 months after we broke up, you messaged me asking if I wanted to grab drinks since I was in town and I agreed because I was still hoping, with the little hope I had left, that you wanted to try again. You didn't; just wanted sex. I was lonely moving to a new city, so it was nice to be with someone familiar. I could feel the hope inside again.

It has been 3 months since that night. I am finally ready to let go of you. It only took 8 months of checking your snapchat score (embarrassingly) and checking facebook to finally get to where I am today. I do not regret anything with you. I have grown so much from the experience, and I still consider you a friend. I just think that I have to let you go. I am ready to delete you off social media and unfriend you on snapchat. You have found someone else and I am happy for you.

I just want you to know that yes, you destroyed me. You ripped my heart out and it put me in a place that I never want to be in again. You were not right for me; I was trying to fix you. You were broken from an old relationship, and I wanted to fix that pain. I know now that I did help fix the pain, but it led to you not needing me anymore. I was the rebound and I did not even realize it. Just know that I will always love you, but from a distance. I love you in the way that I hope you are happy and enjoying your new relationship and freedom from school.

Thanks for all the laughs and peanut butter cookies, the memories will last a lifetime.

P.S. - I hope you finally bought a couch to put in your apartment so your guests actually have somewhere to sit. I will probably never know.