It is no secret that women groom themselves more than men. We spend time making sure our hair looks smooth and that our eyeliner has the perfect wing tip, while men brush their teeth, maybe grab a shower, and head out the door. Maybe they put on clean jeans, or maybe not. Throughout campus, I have noticed the disheartening difference between what we wish guys would wear versus what they actually wear. I am not sure where the double standard began, but it is quite humorous--and I want to be clear, this is for your own good.

To the handsome faced guy walking around with bar tar on the bottom of your jeans and a game day t-shirt that is too short: why would you give us the impression you do not know how to do laundry?

To the patchy-bearded jock sitting at B-Phils on Tuesday night: you have too many gaps in your beard, and you know it. Give it a few years until you want to go scruffy. There is nothing wrong with clean-shaven men.

To the hottie walking around wearing Alfco shorts that I am certain your boxers would hang out of if you sat down: Your thigh muscles are looking good, but I feel like I should buy you dinner before I see too much. Going from a size extra small to medium really is not as bad as it sounds. Trust us, we have all grown since middle school.

Now, all of this may seem harsh, but we know you guys think it too. I have heard too many of my guy friends complain about leggings, Nike shorts, and getting their massive t-shirts stolen on the weekends. Obviously running to Publix in sweats and a dirty t-shirt is okay for you. And nursing your hangover in whatever you found on the floor by your bed is something we women understand. However, leaving the house and going to lunch in it is a turn-off.

So here is what we wish could be reality: A good smelling, clean-cut guy with clean jeans, freshly pressed button downs, and some Cole Haan loafers. Scruff is definitely an excellent option for those of you who can fill out a beard. It is also an option to wear sweats and work out clothes if you are at the gym or if you have muscles to show off. And let’s be honest, there are the guys that totally pull off the shaggy hair and “I don’t care” attitude, so if that’s you, keep it up until you’re 23 and need a job. Lastly, if you are the nerdy type, there is nothing wrong with smart guys with thick- rimmed glasses. We eat that stuff up.

In case you were wondering, there is a reason we love when formal and semi formal come around. We get to ask the handsome guy we want to see dressed up. That cheesy phrase our parents and teachers told us, you remember, “Dress for Success?” Well, it is true. There is nothing more sexy and attractive than a guy in a suit. Channel your inner Barney Stinson and suit up. We know most of you actually enjoy whipping out your bow tie and dress pants. Especially when we are also dressed up.

College is the last chance you have to dress like a total homeless person until you graduate into a suit-wearing career, and that is understandable. Why else would we wear shirts that go down to our knees and messy buns on top of our heads? But maybe on Friday nights when we put on our heels and strut to bars, y’all could ditch the t-shirts and show us your mother really did teach you how to dress.