If someone asked me, “Who is one of your heroes?” I would say my mom. My mom is a single mom, doing the work of two parents. Parenting is hard enough on its own. It’s a thankless job with no sick days, no vacation days, and no retirement plan. My parents divorced pretty early on in my life and she’s been tirelessly, selflessly, and with so much drive, doing everything by herself ever since. If you’ve read my "An Open Letter to My Abuser" article, you’ll know my father was not a part of our family, which put inflicted unnecessary strain on all of us. My brother, my mom and I leaned upon each other in our childhood, through the tear stricken nights, unaware of the sacrifices my mother was making for us right then. She said, "It's okay. It's going to be okay. I promise." She couldn't let down her façade. She couldn't quite let go of the calmness and maternity in front of the two of us. How hard that must have been.
She put herself through RN school while working a full-time job, supporting my brother and I by herself. She raised us both flawlessly, even though she doesn’t think so. She’s currently back in school pursuing her master’s in nursing to become a Nurse Practitioner despite working full-time, 12-hour shifts at the hospital. I could not be prouder of her, nor could I ever pull her workload.
She had to support my brother, myself, and herself all on her own for the span of our lives so far and continues to do so each and every day. My brother is turning 27 this year and she still buys him lunch and offers to wash his clothes for him. Whenever I come home from a break from college, she still helps me wash my clothes, because she knows I’m stressed and could use the help. She sacrifices things for herself, so I can excel and be better and have better and just plain, live better.
She had to help my brother and I work through the emotional abuse my father put us all through, being strong for us even though it hurt to see us so torn apart. She had to put up with my father’s complete and utter lack of well, everything. She always says to me, “We’ll get through it like we always do. You and me.” She had to be my brother and I's rock without having anyone for herself to lean on. She rocks as a human and if I were even half the woman she is today, that would be awesome.
If you have a single mom, thank her for what she does. Give her nice presents, and tell her it’s okay to treat herself. Tell her she’s doing a good job. Tell her that it’s okay to not be okay. Tell her that she can always lean on you. Single parenting is the single hardest job in the entire world. She has to do every job in the world and she has to do it alone.
