Home sweet home. Home is such a comforting word now that I am in college. It reminds me that there is a place outside of this bubble that exists and is full of people that love me. With my family owning season football tickets, I have seen them almost every weekend within the school year so far, except for a few. However, there is one family member that I saw for the first time this weekend: Marley.

Marley is my yellow lab-german shepherd mix that I automatically fell in love with when I brought him home from the shelter back in the 8th grade. From the moment he placed his head on my lap, I knew this was a match made in heaven. As the years went on, we grew that much closer. He and I were almost inseparable. My dad and I would play this game where he would ask Marley “where’s Lauren” which would send Marley into a hide-n-go-seek mindset. We would take naps together, binge watch Netflix, and of course go to the dog park on days that seemed to be made in perfection.

When senior year of high school came around, it seemed like those days of perfection no longer existed. I went through a stage where circumstances called for me to endure a terrifying unknown, and for the most part, it felt like I was facing it alone. I remember walking the halls at school thinking that people, even some of my closest friends saw right through me. It felt like I was in a dark hole with a ladder, but every time I attempted to crawl out, a step would break and I fell back to the bottom. I was trapped within my own mind, and the worst part is that I could hear the old Lauren begging to be let out. I was in a situation where some of my closest friends were battling the same things. A daily mental and emotional battle.

On the days where I felt my weakest, the Lord reminded me that He was always there for me and was holding my hand the entire way, seeing me through to the other side. One of the ways that I believe the Lord reminded me of this was through the constant presence of Marley. He stayed by my side, just like God did. He comforted me, just like God did. At times, it felt like he was my only friend. My school friends and I were emotionally and mentally incapable of speaking to one another or talk about our situation because of the amount of stress that would continue to spread like wildfire.

When the stress had lifted, senior year was over, I had graduated, and it was the day that I was leaving for college, I felt like I was leaving my best friend. I know it’s strange to say that about a dog, but when a dog is one of the only things holding you together, it’s guaranteed to form a bond that no one else will understand. I know he can’t talk, when I was walking out the door, told him goodbye, and that I loved him, something within me assured me that he understood that I did love him.

So when I went home this past weekend, my heart was full. For the first time I could breathe, relax, and escape the college world for a while. Seeing the familiar reminded me that everything that I held close was still the way I left it. But for the first time, I felt like I was torn two ways. I have a newfound loyalty to the people I have met here at Baylor, but I also desired to be at home where everything was as it should be. What made coming back to Waco easier than I thought was knowing that everything was indeed the way I left it. Time will essentially cause things change, but the relationships with everyone will stay the same. I still had a best friend who greeted me the way he always would and a family who went about their day as if I had never left. When you have a bond with someone so special such as this, it’s okay to miss them.