Depression has a tendency to have such an ugly connotation. Until recently, it was a word that was kept under wraps. No one was supposed to know that you were diagnosed with depression. Mental disorders were considered to be either unreal or something to hide. Everyone lived on one end or the other of the spectrum. Thankfully, more people are beginning to realize the truth about mental disorders and they are beginning to be treated like any diagnosis. The thing is, however, that not everyone still sees depression and other mental disorders as serious medical conditions. Some people just cannot see the validity in mental disorders.

While the specifics of depression vary from person to person, it all comes down to brain chemistry. It all comes down to levels of serotonin being passed from one neuron to another. How crazy is that? When I was first diagnosed with depression, I told my best friend and the first words out her mouth were, 'No you're not', but I was and that moment made me feel bad about myself and my depression. She was right. I didn't necessarily fit on the depression scale. I did well in school. I was involved in just about every organization imaginable. I always tried to have a smile on my face, but after I began taking my medicine I realized that I hadn't actually been happy since elementary school. I even remember my mother crying because it was like I was my old self again.

Depression is such a fickle topic. I believe that some people are so convinced that they aren't depressed that it makes them more depressed, but there's nothing wrong with admitting that you're brain chemistry is just a little messed up. Let's be honest, everyone's brain chemistry is just a little messed up. I feel like so many people find it hard to admit that they have mental disorders because they feel like they are abnormal and like they are letting God down. In 2014 alone over 15.7 million adults were diagnosed with depression, so you are definitely not alone.

As for God, you are definitely not letting him down. God loves you more than you even know. Having depression does not mean that you're letting anyone down. Admitting that you have depression is the first step to helping yourself get better and that is all that God wants for you. God does not love you any less because you have depression. He wants you to grow from your depression and become better at serving him. Don't ever let your depression set boundaries for you. You are your own person and your depression does not control you.