First thing that you should know about me, is that I’m a lover boy. I like to think I put a lot of time and dedication into my relationship. I really do care about my girlfriend and I like to see her happy. I will usually go out of my way to do ridiculous things for her that a lot of people would say is impractical. I've spent a lot of my time thinking about her and trying to make her happy because I really love her and want to be with her. This obsessive behavior to constantly be with the person I love has labeled me a lover boy; and it drives a lot of my friends crazy.

Sometimes, I can tell that they get annoyed by how much I talk about her or how I’ll go out of my way for her even though it inconveniences me at time, but it’s my call and I’m going to do what I want. That’s why I hate the term lover boy, not because it sounds girly or something immature like that, but because I’m judged for wanting to put stock into my relationship. So I decided after a few years of being known as a lover boy, to finally write about why I hate being judged about it so much.

It’s not your relationship, so you can go ahead and stop right now if you don’t agree with how I approach mine. I understand I get annoying with how much I talk about my girlfriend. I know that people get a little annoyed when I skip out on plans because she really wants to see me, but honestly, sometimes I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to spend time with the person you love. The entire point of marrying someone is so you can spend your entire life with them. And I recognize that we’re not exactly married but isn’t that why you date a person, to figure out if you really love them and want to be with them in the future? If that isn’t what you would do, fine. Just leave me and my radiant girlfriend alone, I honestly could care less.

What annoys me most is that it isn’t always men who pester me about the subject. You’d think that it would just be a bunch of guys buying into the whole masculine image with its toxic standards, but a lot of the time it’s other girls too. My sisters told me that I don’t have to waste so much gas to see someone for only 4 hours, but that’s because we share a car and frankly she doesn’t even pay for gas. I feel the term was invented as an insult by a bunch of boys who either felt the need to insult other guys who showed affection for their girlfriends because they were embarrassed by it themselves, or they just couldn’t find anyone who would take the time to date them. The point is, the term is just another factor of toxic masculinity that says I’m not “manly enough” because of how I act. I can do whatever I want without the need of everyone’s approval. If I want to spend two hours learning how to make my girlfriend an origami rose, then I am going to struggle as I rewind a youtube video fifty times over the same ten seconds because I suck at origami but I will suffer to impress my girlfriend ‘cause I love her.

I’m not going to lie, though, a lot of the times I do this because I have a need to be validated. I like to be told I’m a good boyfriend because I have this need to be told I’m doing something right. And I’ll often look back at other past relationships that have failed and think that I really did waste time, because in the end I wasn’t appreciated at all for what I did and I let myself be taken advantage of. But even though I spend so much time on my relationship, that’s my choice. I’m going actively encourage my girlfriend to try new things and even leave to go on trips where I won’t see her for months because I love her and want her to be happy. Seeing her smile at the end of the day just makes me feel like I’m a better person.