Bullying is an ever-present dilemma in our society today. Recently, there has been a great deal of coverage on this topic. Many have hopped on board to put an end to it and have shared their stories on how they have personally been the victim of bullying. The majority of those who view these stories often feel empathy towards the victim and anger towards the bully. Unfortunately, the story of the bully and their motives are passed over since no one cares about their underlying motivation; only their actions. The truth is that bullies usually are hurting more than most people comprehend, and they act as they do for a variety of reasons.

Attention is often lacking in the lives of bullies. Whether it stems from a disconnect in their family, or a lack of friends, they rarely receive sufficient attention and love. The pain that comes from feeling so alone in the world is a cause for individuals to lash out on others so that they are noticed. Their main objective is to receive attention, even if it is in a negative way.

The behavior of bullies can often be traced back to bullying within the home life, television/video games, or among friends. When people are exposed to these factors, especially at a young age, it can become difficult for them to see how this behavior can hurt others. Further, many acts of bullying go unpunished which only serves to exacerbate the behavior. They grow used to it and if they are ever tempted to modify their actions, they feel as though they may not fit in, so they tend not to change.

In such a power hungry world, people of all ages strive to feel in control, and bullies often times achieve this by putting others down. Bullies put fear in others, which makes opposition to their power rare.

When individuals lack self esteem, they harm others to boost their own self-confidence. Because bullies strive for unobtainable perfection, it is not unusual to discover very low levels of self-confidence. This idea of not being good enough can force people to stoop to any level in order to find relief and make themselves feel better.

Something that is very frowned upon in today’s society is being different from what is the perceived societal norm. When people see others acting or looking different, it can be an open door for possible persecution. This can be due to bullies feeling threatened that someone else is better than them, or because they reject what others believe. Either of these could be a trigger for violent and aggressive actions towards others.

Becoming a bully does not mean that you're a mean-spirited person. As stated above, there are many factors that can cause an individual to behave in an unacceptable and possibly violent fashion. Once we understand the pain of bullies, we can begin the healing process to help them.