Everyone’s been there – the morning after a night out and eating greasy food with your friends as they recount the night’s activities.Unfortunately for you, while they’re giggling you might be experiencing an overwhelming wave of nausea that’s not just from your hangover – it’s from hearing what you did last night. It will probably be things you never dreamed of doing, at least sober, like taking a fraternity composite, icing out your managers while casually stroking their face or casual body shots during happy hour. The late night alter ego is something of true magnificence. Here are a few. 
The Kris Jenner. Like the recently separated multi-millionaire, the Jenner is single, rich (or pretending to be) and thirsty. The Kris Jenner of late night alter egos will be someone you admire for their admitted vanity and ego, yet cringe when you see slow rejection. The Jenner is a persona who’s not afraid to say what s/he thinks and has no shame in their game, or lack thereof. 

The Sad Jack. Usually when people drink, they let their inhibitions go and become happy and relaxed. When you see Sad Jack, you are reminded of a depressed circus clown. You want to love him but he makes you incredibly sad. He may come home from the bar and contemplate life while sitting with a blank stare on the porch steps. He’ll try to cheer everyone up with impressions, back flips and hugs. It won’t work and he’ll end up wandering off to bed like a lifeless zombie.

The Edward Snowden. Like the former CIA agent, the Snowden alter ego has an innate ability to flee the scene without anyone knowing. With his Houdini-like disappearances, the Snowden is as baffled and confused as his friends when they awaken in the morning. He might seek temporary asylum on your couch.You should cut him some slack.

The Jorge (hor -hay).  The Jorge is essentially one of the scariest drunk alter egos you can encounter because if you’re a Jorge, you’re going to wake up on the train tracks one morning wondering how you got there. The Jorge is reminiscent of Charlie Sheen. He’s absolutely crazy. He is going to take and do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with no concern toward others. Don’t be surprised if he stumbles into his  room at 4 p.m. with a twisted shoulder and no recollection of his Fat sandwich order, let alone the night.

The Mike Tyson: Put away anything you love, because Mike Tyson is out. If it looks like it can be broken, it will be. Pool tables, couches, doors or even bones – it will be broken as the Tyson goes on a rampage of unrequited anger. The Tyson will awaken in the morning and wonder what took the bigger hit: his hands or his wallet.

The Usain Bolt. Want to get to Red Lion faster to cut the line? Run at cheetah-like speed down icy 3rd Street and you’ve found your drunk alter ego. No matter how hard his friends try to stop him, the bolter finds it better to work off additional calories through excessive dangerous sprinting. You won’t get a medal for your efforts, but you will probably wake up with at least 10 bruises and the occasional road rash or sprained ankle. Run on, you courageous being.

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