In the process of heartbreak recovery, questions, rather miraculously ,show up, centered around the blame that you should take for the end of a relationship or the people that you really deserve to have in your life. My dad could tell me that I deserve a person who will kiss the ground I walk on until he's blue in the face, and my mom can tell me that the right relationship will be effortless, but the reality is that no one can tell you how much you're worth unless that person is yourself.

I struggled consistently with the concept of wearing my heart on my sleeve and simultaneously protecting my insides from the slosh and stabs of the termination of people for whom I cared about. I failed in protecting my most vulnerable fragments and letting my heart take the stabbings of several who potentially didn't even deserve to come in relative contact with it. Consistently, as well, I found myself in the arms of those who had hurt me endlessly but couldn't resist one night spent together -- it was just one night that turned into several and back and forth confusion piled up inside my head.

Those that cared about me have told me in several instances that I deserve more, that I'm worth more than just a meaningless rendezvous that disguises itself as a gesture of romance. Each time I went back, I silently told myself that I did this because I wasn't worthy of anything more and that no matter what, no one would actually obey the "handle with care" sticker slapped across my bundle of feelings. I listened to myself give my friends the same advice in their struggling relationships; "you don't deserve the way he treats you" , "the person you are with should be prideful in titling you as their significant other" "they should take care of you and your vulnerabilities not because they have to but because they want to." 

Routinely we give others advice that we should be giving ourselves. I want to say that I will never settle for bare minimum affection again, but the reality is that we all forget how much we should be valued by others. In knowing what you mean to yourself, you understand what you should mean to others, and in that you begin to gain a realization of those who you deserve to keep in your corner. Perhaps in some inexplicable situation can a one-sided relationship transform into a mutual exchange of feelings and emotions, but more often than not someone is left hurting. 

Take the time to re-connect with yourself before you dive deep into the dating pool once again. Remember that no matter how many mistakes you've made or heartbreaks you've endured, you mean so much more to yourself and to the people who care about you than you can ever imagine -- don't force yourself to settle for people who won't take every particle of your being and handle it with care and compassion, refusing to let any of it shatter.