What A Girl Does When She Has A Crush | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

What A Girl Does When She Has A Crush

Girls have this thing they do when their crush is around; extremely crazy girls do even more weird things.

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What A Girl Does When She Has A Crush
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If you're like me, who does things I really shouldn't do when I have a crush, then you should somehow understand. Judging by the memes I see on social media posts, I don't think I'm the only one who does crazy things, like...

1. Annoy the heck out of them

Before school, during school, and after school, I would always find excuses to talk to my crush and walk by him. if we had the same classes together, then I would just sit near him and stare, because I'm really weird and it's his fault for being hot. Before and during bell transitions, I would follow him around to his locker and wait for him like a creepy stalker when he talks to his friends and teachers. When I get home, I would text him instead of doing homework. If he's nice enough to talk to me, then I stop doing anything but talking to him. This procrastination ruins my grades, but I haven't gotten my priorities straight yet.

2. Try to impress them

...and fail miserably. If you're like me, then you would daydream all those ideal moments you could have with that crush. Not trying to burst your bubble, but they're probably not going to come true. I've had those moments, too, and guess what? They didn't come true. Obviously, I didn't think that a school shooter was going to enter the school and I would save my crush from harm, take a bullet for him, and steal his heart. I totally didn't think that an earthquake would trap me and him together in an enclosed space, forcing us to live a night together. I should stop now.

3. Stalk them

If there was a Nobel Prize on stalking, then all the lovesick girls would receive an unlimited load of awards. We can figure out the birthday of our crush's dad's best friend if we were desperate enough. We will stalk every girl that got tagged or appeared in his Instagram posts. We will ask about any suspicious activity that we accidentally saw. We will act like a creepy girlfriend even though we're not even dating. Personally, I've figured out my crush's old crush by matching a partially covered profile pic with the people he followed on Instagram. Other may think I'm weird, but I was surprisingly proud of myself.

4. Overthink everything

Do you see that extra period? Is he mad? Sad? Girls can detect the slightest hint of unhappiness, and overthink all night about what we did wrong. If their crush says "gn" instead of spelling it out, then there must be something wrong, just like how "I'm sorry" is different from "sorry" or, even worse, "sry.." Like unlicensed detectives, girls can collect data on how their crush behaves, put together the pieces, and create a hypothesis that usually turns out to be true.

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