Upsides to dining hall food: you don’t have to walk 5 miles to find the nearest pizza place. Downsides to dining hall food: you eventually get bored of it after two weeks. Especially if your prime destination is the salad bar. You’ll know you’re at the salad bar if you see romaine lettuce everywhere on the floor, like the canopy of a rainforest. But, the best part of any salad, hands down, is the dressing.

Eating at the dining hall has hijacked my taste buds, so now, everything I ingest tastes like Thousand Island to me. If this is also you, then you’ve come to the right place, mi amigo.

Ranch:

You’re the wild one in your friend group. You either go big or go home. You go straight for the Big Gulp without any kind of shame. You’re also very likable and adaptable -- I mean, you serve as a sauce, a condiment, and a dressing!

Balsamic Vinaigrette:

You’re classy, sophisticated, and maybe a little pretentious. You probably love fruit (I’m pretty sure no one’s heard of your mango strawberry raspberry balsamic vinaigrette), but it never hurts to be a little picky, right?

Thousand Island:

You’re unique, but charming. Sarcastic, but sweet. Kind, but original. I could go on and on and on and on, but one thing is for sure: there’s something about you that makes people gravitate towards you.

Italian:

Zesty. Adventurous. Unpredictable. Only a few adjectives to describe who you are as a person. You’re the sunshine in everyone’s cloud of darkness, and you bring life to any deadbeat party. At any time, any place.

Blue Cheese:

You sometimes feel like no one likes you, and you just don’t know why. Maybe it’s because you only take a shower once a week? Just kidding. You’re very self-confident and individualistic -- you don’t care about what others think of you. And, that’s very admirable.

Caesar:

The Caesar puns. So many Caesar puns. I mean, honestly, we should totally stab Caesar (23 times, to be exact). You’re resourceful, but you sometimes come off as somewhat domineering in group projects (and you’re probably the one who does all the work because everyone dips).