Recently, a friend of mine told me she was ghosted by the guy she was casually seeing. They weren't exactly dating, but they did have a "thing" going on, when suddenly he decided he was done with her. He deleted her off snapchat (really dude?) after they had just talked amicably a few days ago. Nothing seemed wrong at the time, so she was really thrown off that he would do that.

I was still a supportive friend, telling her that guy was stupid and clearly couldn't man up and cut it off directly. However, I thought back to several months ago when she first told me about him and remembered how I had warned her about this guy. He used the excuse of not being ready for a relationship whenever she brought it up, and continuously blamed himself for being a bad guy. He would always tell her that she was better off without him, that he wouldn't be able to give her what she wanted. When she told me he had said those things, I knew these were red flags. I was suspicious of his motives, and I tried to let my friend know, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt. I decided to support her, but I just couldn't let go of the feeling that this guy was no good. So, when he cut her off without any explanation, I was unfortunately not too surprised. Why? Because I knew exactly what type of guy he was, even before my friend did.

Guys who use the excuse "it's not you, it's me" are, in fact, blaming you. Unless they can legitimately back up that claim with reasons as to why they can't be with you, they're pulling a guilt card. This type of man uses his "broken" past, failed relationships, immaturity, or whatever else to try to dissuade you from being with him, knowing that you will try to "change" him and will most likely pursue him further. He will use these reasons only when there is talk of a relationship, but never when it's about any of his needs (physical, monetary, etc.).

He will tell the girl he's seeing that he's not good for her, that he will end up hurting her, so that when it happens, he can walk away scot-free. I mean, he warned her didn't he?

But what this man (and I use this term loosely) doesn't know, is that he's not helping himself by playing games. He thinks that warning her is all he needs to do to prevent himself from being liable when the relationship inevitably fails. Sorry to be blunt dude, but you're not off the hook. This guy is liable for hurting the girl he was seeing. Yeah, maybe the girl wasn't making the best choice being interested in someone like him, but it was his fault for not making it more clear that she shouldn't see him anymore.

In the case of my friend, he would warn her about himself, but would have no problem hanging out with her a few days later, until the conversation came back to pursuing a relationship, to which he would clam up and offer the same excuses as before. Did he not consider that maybe he should make it more clear about not being interested? That maybe leading her on was a stupid, reckless move? But that's the point. He didn't actively try to cut her off because if he did, he would lose whatever he was getting from her.

The difference between a guy like him and a guy that acknowledges his shortcomings is that the latter guy knows he should cut off all contact and make it clear nothing more can happen. My friend's guy did no such thing. He took whatever he could from her, and gave her nothing in return. And in the end, he didn't even have the guts to cut off the relationship face to face.

What's worse is that this guy was changing her beliefs. When my friend first told me about this guy, she was really into him. When I asked her if she could see herself in a relationship with him, she said she could. That's what she wanted. Until they had their talk. Then all of a sudden, her views changed. She no longer wanted a relationship, but rather just wanted to see where things go. This made no sense to me. How could she just change her views that easily? Unless she was blinded by her attraction to him, and agreed to whatever he was willing to offer.

This guy loves playing games. He would rather manipulate women than be honest with them. And that's what makes him a coward. Because no matter how old he gets, he will continuously pursue women knowing they want more and he can't deliver. So, what I have to say to this type of guy is: grow up. Women have feelings and deserve respect. If you don't want a relationship, be a man and say it. Don't blame her, don't manipulate her, and certainly don't ghost her because you're too scared to deal with issues like an adult. Because one day, when you think back to all the women you played, I can guarantee you they will be happy with men who understand common curtesy and respect, and you might be alone, left with "excuses" nobody is willing to hear.