I don't know how to begin this, because there are so many things I would say if I could talk to you one more time.

Life isn't fair, and cancer is the epitome of evil. You were dealt a heavy load, but never were you weak. You probably felt weak, and you probably hurt more than you felt healed but you never showed that hurt to anybody-- you had the strength of a thousand men all embodied in one person and it amazes me just how strong you were, and how strong you wanted to be, every time I think of you.

I miss you-- we miss you, more than you could ever imagine but I know that you're home, watching and guiding our family. Strengthening our hearts and our faith with every sunrise that we see.

Thank you for all of the years that you spent on earth being the best co-worker, son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather that anybody could ask for. You held the weight of the world on your shoulders and showed everybody what it means to be a true family man. Whether that was showing up an hour before we were supposed to leave for a tournament with a box of Bojangles biscuits, being right there beside the dugout for every one of my brother's baseball games, grilling out for us every time I came home from school, sitting in the car for God only knows how long just so grandma could stay and talk, fathering my sister and I when we didn't have one, or giving all of your time and energy for any of us when we needed you... you were everything we could've asked for and you never even knew it.

If you could talk to me as I'm writing this you'd tell me to "cowboy up" and stop crying, because there's no need to be sad, and that you're okay...

And I want to tell you that we're okay too.

We've learned what it means to truly lean on one another since you left earth, and while I struggled with my faith for a while because I couldn't understand how life could be so cruel, I realize that you were ready to be with the Lord, and while we can't have your long drives and classic country anymore, you're still with us every day.

So it looks like I don't have to get one last line prepared or beat myself up that we didn't get a formal good bye, because I can pray to God and talk to you as often as I want.

But, I will say this...

I love you Papaw.