The group chat. The central location of communication that seems to dictate all plans, events, transportation, decisions, and pictures. Some love it and others dread it. It is referred to as the group, or the group chat, as if it is a prestigious club that took years to find admission in to. But perhaps it is. My club deserves some recognition.
To my group chat,
Thank you. I have so much to thank you for.
For starters, thank you for killing my battery. Even with the invention of the Do Not Disturb button, you still manage to suck the juice out of my 100 percent. If it was not for you, group chat, would I ever remember to charge my phone? Would I know what a charger was? Thank you for always bringing the 20% battery warning into my life. You keep Low Battery Mode in business.
Thank you for planning my schedule. Thank you for always proposing breakfast dates. Thank you for reminding me that every Wednesday is girls night. That every Wednesday, Cards Against Humanity, tacos, and myself are invited to laugh and communicate in person. Thank you for deciding who will carpool and who will be the designated driver on Saturday nights. Thank you for planning bonfires and beach days. Thank you for always asking me to come visit you at work.
And during all of these plans, dearest group chat, thank you for coordinating my outfits. I do not know how I would dress myself if it was not for all of the suggestions, descriptions, and mirror pictures of fashion. How would I have known what to wear on my first date? How would I know if my makeup is even? Would I have bought the gold necklace instead of the silver one? Thanks to you, I always know and find confidence in my decisions.
Oh and how could I forgot, the screenshots and pictures! Thank you for always keeping me in the loop group chat. For showing me recent relationship statuses, selfies, delicious recipes and endless inquiries of, “Should I buy this?” Thank you for showing me who was at that party, where to go spray tanning, and how to use new apps. Your confusing blend of screenshots and directions are so much easier to follow than the step-by-steps everywhere else. And the Bitmojis. Of course I have to recognize the Bitmojis, making me giggle at my desk. Thank you for distracting me throughout the day, group chat.
Thanks for interrupting my dinner dates. Thank you for not instructing me to respond, “until I get out of work because you guys kill my battery with your hundreds of messages.” Apparently some phones don’t have a Do Not Disturb option. Thank you for buzzing endlessly while I try to watch a movie on date night. My boyfriend knows exactly who you are group chat, and sometimes I think that he is jealous.
Thank you for the dumb nicknames, cat memes, and corny jokes. Thank you for, “I’ll be there in five, does anyone want me to pick them up?” and “Does anyone want to get ice cream?” Thank you for your abundance of support, shown in exclamation points and heart-eyed emojis. Thank you for letting me complain, letting me celebrate, and providing your feedback… Even if I didn’t want it.