1. For all of this pain, I better lose some weight.

2. I wonder if this is the highest dosage of Hydrocodone my dentist is legally allowed to prescribe me.

3. I think I got shot in the mouth.

4. My face is more swollen than it is on my worst hangover.

5. I think this is what childbirth feels like, except through my gums.

6. What is the evolutionary purpose of wisdom teeth?

7. What did they do to my mouth to make me feel this way?

8. I think I'm going to watch YouTube wisdom teeth extractions.

9. I'll watch the animated version.

10. I've never felt so sick from ice cream before.

11. I think I'll order chicken noodle soup from Panera.

12. How do I chew the chicken?

13. Too much effort. Where's the apple sauce?

14. I can't tell if that's apple sauce or my gums back there.

15. Why am I sleeping so much?

16. *Researches effects of Hydrocodone*

17. Let's try to watch one movie without falling asleep.

18. I feel just a little bit more pain coming on. I should take another painkiller.

19. When am I allowed to exercise again?

20. I just want pizza. Cheesy, gooey pizza.

21. I think I'm feeling better. I'm going to eat something normal.

22. Food doesn't taste as good if you can't eat it like a normal person.

23. How many more days until I can stop throwing myself a pity party?

24. But then again, when is the next time I'll be allowed to be a patient at my parent's house like this again?

25. If I milk this for longer, do you think I could get more days off of work?

26. You know, I think I'd rather go to work than feel like this.

27. I'm going to sleep until this is over.