My first year of college is coming to a close and I'm totally burnt out. I've lost all motivation to do assignments, go to class, and do homework. I just want everything to be over. Here's a list of things I'd rather do than finish this semester.
1. Get Up Close And Personal With A Guillotine
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2. Scrub My Dorm Floor With My Toothbrush
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3. Go Into Hibernation
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4. Find Out What Noise It Makes When You Scoop Your Eyes Out With A Spoon
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5. Get A Root Canal
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6. Get Struck By Lightning
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7. Fall Face First In Cow Shit
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8. Work Retail On Black Friday
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9. Get A Really Bad Sunburn
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10. Have My Wisdom Teeth Out... Again
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11. Listen To Friday By Rebecca Black On Loop For The Rest Of My Life
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12. Mow All The Grass On Campus With A Pair Of Safety Scissors (I'm Allergic To Grass)
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13. Watch Paint Dry
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14. Wait In Line At An Amusement Park In 100 Degree Weather For Hours For A Ride That Breaks Down When I Get To The Front
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15. Cut Off My Thumbs
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16. Take A Nap On A Bed Of Nails
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17. Shave My Legs With Tweezers
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18. Attempt To Make A Butter Sculpture On A City Sidewalk In July
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19. Eat Glass
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20. Select The Smelliest Person On Campus As My Roommate For Next Year
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21. Be Followed Literally Everywhere By The Paparazzi
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22. Pluck Out My Eyelashes One By One
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23. Slide Belly First Across The Carpet In Just A Bikini
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24. Fall Into An Electric Fence
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25. Get Really Really Really Drunk
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26. Cut Down A Big Tree With Just A Butter Knife
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27. Have A Cat Actually Get My Tongue
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28. Hit My Pinky Toe On The Corner Of Everything I Pass
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29. Go Swimsuit Shopping
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30. Fall Into A Volcano
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31. Accidentally Like A Cute Boy's Photo From 2013
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32. Forget I Have Paper Cuts On All Ten Fingers And Use Hand Sanitizer
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33. Lose All My Hair
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34. Live In A Port-A-Potty
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35. Rip Out My Toenails With Pliers
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36. Swim With Jellyfish
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37. Go Back To Middle School
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38. Give Birth To A Full Grown Elephant
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39. Sit Through A Seven Hour Lecture
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40. Bathe In Glitter
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41. Eat Myself Into A Coma
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42. Listen To Edward Scissorhands Massage A Chalkboard
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43. Sit On A Cactus
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44. Drink Bleach
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45. Pierce My Own Nipples
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46. Retake The SATs
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47. Read 50 Shades Of Grey Out Loud At A Nursing Home
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48. Spray Tan With Donald Trump
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49. Wash The Entire Football Team's Laundry
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50. Drive A PT Cruiser
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