When I look at the screen,
All I see,
Are pictures of bodies,
Bodies made perfect by society,
A society that sees beauty as
skinny, flawless, perfect.
Too perfect.
The society that molds clay,
And expects us to play along
With the hysteria of photoshop,
A never-ending game,
of false perceptions
And lies,
A false portrayal of reality
that never dies,
But kills our hopes
of ever achieving that glamour.

Looking back at this excerpt from a poem that I wrote a few years ago, I’ve realized that a lot has changed. I have come a long way in discrediting the accepted beauty standards and understanding that beauty comes in many different forms—all different shapes and sizes. Growing up in a social media- dominated culture can be difficult for young males and females, whose lives are heavily influenced by the pressure of living up to expectations imposed by everyone and everything around them, whether it be their friends, their families, or even the most accredited celebrities. We are all encouraged to be the BEST but the problem is that everyone is trying to be the best and that just continues to raise the bar. It is always a question of “who is the manliest” or “who is the prettiest”. This competitive mindset causes us to constantly compare ourselves to others and find every difference or perceived “flaw” as a sign that we are inadequate in some way.

Beauty is not something that can be defined or reduced to a set of standards. It would be unfair of me to say that a particular trait that I have is in any way superior to or inferior to a trait that someone else has because we are all different and special in our own ways. Even within both genders, we are capable of differentiating ourselves and accentuating our physical looks through our sense of fashion, our confidence, and our accessories. But there is still this misguided belief that you will never be considered beautiful if you do not look a certain way, regardless of what you do or what kind of person you are. Maybe, it’s the line of belly fat forcing you to check your weight constantly and perfect your food portions. Maybe, it’s those anxiety-driven scratch marks on your body that show up every once in a while and make you hide with guilt. Maybe, it’s something else that makes you feel bad about yourself and you compensate by controlling other aspects of your life. Every single person has some fear that they are not good enough to be considered beautiful, especially in a world of photoshopped images and false notions of what it really means to be “beautiful”.

Whenever you find yourself trying to “achieve that glamour” or trying to look like a model, remember that you are special and that you deserve to be called beautiful for more than just your physical looks. We are actually more attractive than we think—the problem is that we’re too harsh on ourselves even when there is nothing wrong with us. So, don’t ever think that no one will find you attractive because you probably meet a lot of people who do see that in you. The people who stick with you or seek you out will be the ones who truly appreciate how special you are—-they are the ones that want a taste of that icing on the cake, which is YOUR intrinsic value. This perception of beauty extends far beyond the realm of superficiality. It takes into account your values, the way you carry yourself, your presence, and your physical looks. So, you are beautiful and you’ve come to own it, what’s next? You have to be able to share that beauty with the world by connecting with people. So, when you’re out meeting people, don’t just reach for their eyes, show them that you can dig deeper and reach for their hearts as well because a truly beautiful person has something special to offer.