Self-sabotage can be traced back to a lot of different causes, but perhaps the underlying theme is that we're afraid to be happy. Whether that fear of happiness resonates in your love life or your extracurriculars or your life in general, self-sabotage must be contained; it must be extinguished.

Self-sabotage is something that I've been struggling a lot with, especially when it comes to my love life. I think that ultimately I'm afraid that if I let myself be happy and get comfortable with someone else, that happiness could just as easily disappear. Just that thought alone is terrifying to me and it's why I haven't dated in a long time. I've met a lot of really great guys that I just can't seem to give a chance to and it all comes back to that nagging fear that if I let my walls down, an outside force could emotionally wreck me. As someone who feels deeply, it's a risk I'm not readily willing to take.

It's not just present in my love life, though. The intimidation is sometimes felt when I'm with organizations that I'm involved in. It might be felt when there are leadership positions opening up, or opportunities to serve at an expanded level. The creeping feeling of potential failure is a scary thing and if it's not handled properly, it can be hard to come back from. However, I think that one of the saddest things is when you know that you're capable, but you let others' opinions instill fear in you--fear that you're not prepared or experienced or great enough. It seems like their discouraging words are only amplified by our own insecurities. It becomes easy to talk down to yourself if all you hear is that you can't do something.

Even in regular everyday life, it's easy to hold back, to not go for things that are out of our comfort zone. While this seems like a mild case of sabotage, I've found it to be chronic. When you don't let yourself enjoy life, well, that's just it, you're less happy and more likely to condone more self-sabotage in hopes of convincing yourself that you're really not missing out on much at all.

With that being said, I'm making an effort to change my ways and say goodbye to self-proclaimed impairment. I'm going to start dating again (well, I guess that's dependent on who I meet) and before I give myself a chance to end things before they begin, I'm going to calm my thoughts and just breathe.

When it comes to others' opinions, I will be my own stronghold. It's hard enough to build yourself back up after others tear you down, so why make it worse by contributing your own thoughts of doubt?

As for my everyday life, in just the past few months, I have been trying new things and finding alternative perspectives. It has been eye-opening and I saw that in allowing myself to live a little, I could relate more to those around me.

That's what college is all about, right?