I have an ideal version of me in my head.

He is attractive, confident, and can sweet-talk his way out of (or into) any situation. He naturally excels at his studies, while simultaneously leading those around him with an innate gravitas. He is the charming, roguish hero of most young adult fiction.

I have an inkling that a lot of my fellow men share my idealized self. We all have that self in our head, sharing all the qualities but none of the flaws of our current state. This mental image often provides us something to strive for, a definite final product against which to compare the current item. Most of the time, it's like comparing an emu with a swan: Both are technically birds, but one is a swan, and the other is an emu.

An emu.

Guess which one I feel like most of the time. Yeah.

So what is the conclusion we can draw from this? We all have a desire to become better. Maybe in small ways, but better nonetheless. That is part of growth, changing to become a better version of you.

Which is why I take serious issue with the phrase "...just the way you are." No. I have not, do not, and will not take anyone "just the way she/he/it is." So I issue a request to those who tell you that you shouldn't change for anyone.

Please, for the love of all that is considered holy on this Earth, stop.

The key issue at hand is the theory that you, as you are at this moment, are good enough for anything. I'm sorry to tell you, but you aren't.

You can be, though.

The bitter fact is that none of us are good enough. Not me, not you, and not your second cousin, Phil.

I am continually growing, continually striving to better myself and to seek that ideal me. Failures litter the path, behind and before, but it nonetheless leads towards that dream I have for myself. One day I may reach it, and on that day, I shall have a new ideal towards which to strive. The work of growing never ends.

The key to growing is to do hold to the core of yourself. Find those common items between today's-self and the ideal-self, those defining characteristics that make you, you. I am not talking beliefs here; I am talking personality.

Today-Sam and tomorrow-Sam both love books, both love making people laugh, both are (hopefully lovable) dorks, but tomorrow-Sam has worked more to rid himself of the inevitable failures and flaws.

No, I am not good enough now. I never will be: I shall always be striving towards something better.

And therein lies the comfort. A resignation to good work. As I climb this mountain I have no hope that I shall ever see the summit, but I do have hope that I might reach a pleasant overlook or two along the hike of my life. I know that what I do lasts forever, but I know it to be a good work, despite the difficulty.

From boyhood to manhood: Ever moving, never there.