I find myself still thinking about memories from back then and what our time was like together. How was so i daft to let you in? I wish I paid attention to those red flags instead of being so deeply in love with you.

You made me feel so alone when you were sitting five feet from me. You turned my mental health issues into wars when I was already going through them in my head. You abandoned me in the moments I need you most. I cried myself to sleep countless times thinking everything was my fault when it in fact, wasn't.

It's been months and although the pain is no longer with me; it still lingers.

I can still feel your caresses on my face.

The way your hand would feel in mine.

When is it appropriate to delete all of our pictures? When do the feelings just stop?

You left like it was nothing.

Without a glance.

Without a goodbye.

Like it was just so easy.

You would call me your only friend and make it seem like you were all alone in this big bad world and I would be your shoulder to cry on but when were you ever mine?

Am I suppose to sit here and wish you well when I wish you nothing but the pain you brought me? Am I suppose to lie to everyone and say I'm okay when I'm not? When does it get easier? When can I stop hating you for what you put me through?

Breaking up with someone is like a roller coaster. On some days I hate you, others I cry missing you.

I never asked for this. I never wanted to feel this way. How do you just up and leave someone that you're supposedly in love with? That you wanted to marry and have kids with?

How come I didn't realize I was being used?

I don't wish you the best.

I hope you end up with a girl who treats you the way you treated me and that you realize your mistakes. Do better. Be better.

So when someone comes along that loved you the way I did, you'll know to not mess it up the way you messed me up.