Just five more minutes. Just one more episode. Food doesn't have calories if someone else buys it. We all tell ourselves little lies and they're mostly harmless. For one week, I decided to record these lies; I find them quite humorous.

Monday

1. Siri, Set alarm for 6:15 AM

2. I have time for coffee before class

3. This week, I'll actually write things down in my planner

4. This week, I'm going to spend less money on coffee

5. I don't need to actually take that book to class

6. I'll just wing it

7. I have two weeks to do that paper, but I'll start it tonight

8. I'm going to go to bed at a decent hour tonight

Tuesday

1. Siri, Set alarm for 6:30 AM

2. I could start bringing my lunch to save money

3. I have time for coffee before class

4. I won't speed on my way to work

5. If I have coffee at work, I will remain alert and interested

6. I'm going to start that paper tonight

Wednesday

1. Siri, set alarm for 6:45 AM

2. I can buy that book tomorrow and still have time to read it for class Friday

3. I'm going to start that essay tonight

4. I'll remember to return these library books, I don't need to put it on the calendar

5. I have time for coffee before class

6. I'll read that in the morning

7. I have time for coffee before work

8. 30 Minutes is plenty of time to get back on campus, park and get to the office tower

Thursday

1. Siri, set alarm for 6:50 AM

2. It's only been a month since I read this book, I don't need to reread these chapters

3. I can just email them later

4. I have time for coffee before class

5. I get paid today, so I can justify a $10 sandwich and $6 coffee for lunch

Friday

1. Siri, set alarm for 7:00 AM

2. I am going to sleep so much this weekend

3. I'll also do all of my homework tonight so I'm not rushing to do it Sunday night.

4. I have time for coffee before class

5. I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it

6. That class is canceled today because there's paper due on Monday, I'll write that during the class time.

7. Bills can wait until the next paycheck

Saturday

1.I can sleep as late as I want

2. I'm going to start drinking less coffee

3. Today, I will only watch one episode of "The X-Files"

4. I'm going to edit that research paper today

5. I'm going to actually wash my jeans

6. I'm actually going to wash my quilt

7. I'm going to give the cats a bath today

8. I'm going to write that paper

Sunday

1. I don't need coffee today

2. I might go for a run later

3. hmmm... Maybe just a little bit of pasta...

4. I can judge the serving size of uncooked pasta...

5. Maybe I'll share this pasta

6. I can write that paper before class in the morning, I'll just wake up early

6. All of those things I said I would do this week, I'll do next week

7. Siri, set alarm for 5:15 AM

8. Siri, also set an alarm for 6:45 AM

These lies are mostly harmless (except the bills, that's a bad, harmful idea). These are the lies I tell myself to get through the week; what about you?