One year ago, I was a stressed out, miserable, lost, and scared senior in high school. It was second semester, and while most of my friends had decided where they would be going after high school, I did not know what to do with myself. My second semester was filled with tears, many college tours, countless visits to the guidance counselor, thoughts about not going to college at all, considering applying to more schools, thinking about taking a gap year, and so much more. It was not much different from first semester of senior year, except first semester ended with me sobbing my eyes out on the last day before Christmas break.

Just days before break started, I was rejected from my dream school. The school I grew up imagining going to. The school I was going to watch my brother graduate from just a few weeks before I graduated high school. The school that I had attended football games, basketball games, hockey games, and just weekend visits despite it being 11 hours from my home. The school that I was set on going to. The school that I simply had to go to, or I wouldn't know what to do. And I wasn't wrong, completely. Because for a while, I didn't know what to do. All of my dreams were crushed, all of my work, not worth it. Teachers knew, classmates knew, underclassmen knew, and worst of all, I knew, that it was my dream, and that it would not come true.

So, instead of the usual fun that second semester of senior year that I always imagined, the one where I would proudly wear my college sweatshirt to school and pinch myself every time, because I did not believe it was real. But that didn't happen. I did not wear any of the articles of clothing from my dream school for a long time, mostly because I was so angry.

Instead, I spent second semester visiting a different college nearly every weekend. It was full of long drives, plane rides, information sessions, meetings with admissions counselors, pro and con lists, official recruiting visits, trying the dining hall food everywhere, creating a point system for the colleges to try and help me decide, and hearing everyone I knew tell me what school I should pick.

After finally narrowing my schools down to my top two choices, I was truly at a loss, but my parents knew I needed to decide this on my own, so I was left to figure it all out. I was sitting in my guidance counselor's room one day and discussing my options, which honestly became a normal routine for the two of us. She said how she thinks it would be great if I could run in college, and I absent mindedly agreed. She looked up at me and said "I think you made your decision then" because I could only run collegiately at one of the schools. I was overwhelmed and did not want to fully accept that I had made a decision. So, I ignored it, told a few people, but was still extremely stressed.

However, I never changed my decision and enrolled at Saint Mary's College in the fall. I can honestly say that I have never been happier with a decision. No, it has not always been easy. I am 11 hours from home, I knew absolutely no one going into my first day, I have had anxiety attacks, cried my eyes out some days, and college in general is just tough. Yet, I pushed through it. I thought about transferring, and I was considering it because I still imagined attending my dream school. On bad days I still consider transferring, yet I remind myself that a different school would not get rid of my bad days. Bad days happen everywhere, and to everyone, even at a dream school. However, I know that things happen for a reason, and maybe I just wasn't meant to go to school there. I am meant to become a nurse, and I am meant to graduate from Saint Mary's. And in reality, there is no "dream school". There will always be flaws, you just have to find the place where you accept the flaws because of everything else that is great.

I have met some truly wonderful people during my short time here, and I am so thankful for all of them, especially my roommates and my close group of friends. I truly believe that they are a reason that I am here, because I was supposed to meet them. If I had gotten accepted elsewhere, I wouldn't meet them. I am so lucky to have them.

So, thank you for the rejection letter. Thank you for crushing my dream of attending the university I always knew and loved and forcing me to look at the other doors that were opened. Thank you for allowing me to find my place in this world through a rejection letter.

Life is not always easy, and the path is not always clear. Yet it will all make sense one day, I promise.