Procrastination is something students tend to joke about. How much of our essay is still unwritten, pages unread, and material not studied are common conversation topics, and are sometimes even a source of pride. If we can do all of this work overnight and come out on top (and with an A), we’re hailed superheroes among our peers. The false belief that cramming things in at the last second is productive gets reinforced. When it doesn’t work, we are both defensive and surprised. I am not immune to this, in the least.

I work well under pressure, sometimes better than without it. It helps me focus on what needs doing, gives me an adrenaline rush, and forces me to stop beating around the bush. But under pressure I also get anxious about the work looming in front of me, and tend to take things out on the people near me by being passive aggressive. I get little to no sleep, and the clock ticking down on me only adds more tension into the mix. My perfectionism causes me to spend more time than necessary editing and reviewing finished assignments, and I’m an absolute grouch the next day. All around, my procrastination is mentally and physically draining (even if I do make the grades), and is completely avoidable.

This break, I made a vow to take better total care of myself. This is not a New Year’s resolution, but it is all encompassing. It means everything from running more, eating more vegetables, and managing stress in productive ways. Academically, a big part of taking care of myself will be not procrastinating. I don’t know what exactly this looks like because in my time as a student I’ve never tried it. It’s sort of terrifying to completely change my methods and madness, but it’s really for the best. To start, I’m going to plan out study time and start assignments when they are first given out. I’m going to try to recognize when I’m wasting time and to be honest with myself and stop making excuses.

When I look back on my college years and tell my kids about what it was like, I don’t want to have to tell them about all-nighters spent in the library, or about mental breakdowns at 4 a.m. I don’t want to remember these years as joyless and rushed. I feel like this first step of avoiding procrastination will add balance to my life as a student. I think it will make me more productive and (as cheesy as this sounds) happier.