We've all had moments where we stop and think did I really just do that? This is an unavoidable part of life, the foot in mouth, wish-I-had-just-stayed-home-tonight realizations. However, there is awkward—and then there is "let's just not go out in public for a while." If you're anything like me, you understand the struggles of navigating social situations while over thinking every move you make. You might panic and say the first thing that comes to mind when presented with friendly small talk, and chances are last time someone wished you a happy birthday, you responded with "Good, how are you?" For people like us, we can easily learn how to gracefully move through the average day while maintaining composure. However, add socializing, and you just don't know what is going to happen. Here's a list of situations that can go wrong in an instant for the socially…well, you know.

1. Comforting people

I really do care that you are hurt. I really, really do. I don’t have any freaking clue how to help you. Should I hug you? Is that strange? Should I make a joke? Should I go find someone who knows how to handle this? Yes.

2. Being comforted

Oh God. You’re touching me. Stop touching me. This is making things so much worse. I appreciate your effort, but dear God, no.

3. Compliments

“I like your shirt”

“Oh, umm, thanks. I got it at a store. Sometimes I...wash it? Oh! And I like your… *silently pray that you say something normal* earlobes!”

4. Weddings

So pretty, but so much small talk.

5. Funerals

“Thanks for being here today”

“Thanks for inviting me!” No! No no no.

6. Public domain songs that include dancing

No explanation needed. *shudders at memories of the chicken dance*

7. Parties

The exit is across the room, past the giant pit of people dancing way too close and it also looks suspiciously sweaty. I’m going to have to stay here forever, because there is no other way out.

8. Class presentations

“So, basically the hypothesis proved our thing because science.” *wrings hands and shifts weight too frequently while remembering the hours of meticulous work put into the project, all washed away by lack of social skills.

9. Drinking

Let’s say really strange things still but more loudly and persistently than normal. That will help.

10. Ice Breaker Games

Please stop this. Please stop this now. I think we can bond over other things as a group, like anything else really. I understand some people think the name game, two truths and a lie, and all of the other “get to know you games” are fun...but enough is enough. I still can’t look the people from my freshmen orientation group in the eyes.

Bonus - At least you never run out of embarrassing stories to tell your friends (because you do have friends, surprisingly).