Being single is scary to a lot of people, especially girls around my age. I feel like everyone has felt that way at some point, whether they are 16 and in love for the first time or 21 and just broke up with their high school boyfriend. The word “single” has been given such a negative connotation that people are even afraid to have it as their relationship status on Facebook. Have you ever noticed that? People are always so eager to share that they’re “In a Relationship,” but whenever they break up with someone, they just remove their relationship status from their profile. You never see someone post that they’re newly “single.” Its become something to be ashamed of, and I think that’s pathetic. I’m here to say that I’m not ashamed in the slightest. I’m over the moon.

My last breakup was pretty weird. I won’t get into the details, but after two years, it was over with a five-minute phone call, 10 minutes of crying, and the best week ever. I was surprised at how good it felt. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders -- one less thing I had to worry about. I really only did cry for around 10 minutes. I tried to push out more tears because I thought I was supposed to be destroyed over it as if more crying would be more appropriate for the situation. But I just couldn’t. All I could think about was all the things I could focus on now. I had nothing to cry about. I had my loving sisterhood, an amazing new coach, and a solid team, and I liked all of my classes. There was literally nothing going wrong for me, and anything was possible. I felt like the end of that relationship was the beginning of a wonderful new chapter of my life. I had so many things I wanted to do, and being in that relationship had been the one thing holding me back. Now it was just me, with nobody to cry over, nobody to worry about, and nobody to keep me attached to something that had become so destructive.

I hate to make this sound like the generic “focus on yourself, love yourself” post-breakup article, but honestly, learning to love yourself is such a liberating experience. This semester, I’ve learned a lot about what it means to put others first, to prioritize, and to learn from my mistakes. I still have a ways to go, but I know I’m a better person than I was last year. I know now that being single has nothing to do with me being less of a person than anyone else. It doesn’t mean I’m sad and alone; it means I haven’t found a guy worth sacrificing for. I don’t want to miss things with my friends and sisters, lose focus from school or swimming, or be hesitant to study abroad because of a guy. I hate the idea of being tied down, and I love being my own person.

I’m not saying every relationship is bad. I know people in really healthy relationships, where they’re supportive of each other, but they don’t depend on each other. They don’t have to be glued to each other to prove to everyone how in love they are. They lift each other up and do their own thing. I love those people. On the other hand, there are people in unhealthy relationships, where they can’t stand being apart for more than a day, and their boyfriend or girlfriend is the only thing they ever talk about. Those are the people, I think, who are the most afraid of being single.They depend on the other person so much that they don’t even realize that they’re trapped. They’ve become so attached to their relationship that they can’t do anything for themselves that might hurt their perfect bubble of fake happiness. To them, being single sounds like a death sentence. Yes, I’ve been there too. It’s not a good place to be because you don’t realize in the moment how fragile that bubble really is; you don’t even realize it’s fake. When it finally breaks, it feels like you’re falling, alone. Once you get over that feeling, you start to get back in touch with yourself -- all the things you can do now, all the things you used to love, and all the things you want to work for. I’ve always said that breakups are the most liberating experiences you can go through if you look at it the right way.

Being single is not a death sentence. It can be a blessing if you let yourself see it that way. I’ve been able to do so much and appreciate even more from being on my own. I’m not afraid of it anymore, because I know waiting for a relationship is going to make me happier in the long run. Sure, I could settle for a guy who says I’m pretty and asks how my day is but is it really what I want? Right now, it’s not. I have dreams that don’t include a guy, and I fully intend on making them come true without the added responsibility of a boyfriend. So cheers to the single life, because it’s pretty great if you ask me.