They say that the people that love us are the ones that shape us into who we are. I agree with that but there is also a side of me that disagrees. The people that hurt us or cause us any type of pain are the ones that shape us; they make us who we are. At the end of the day when you look at yourself in the mirror thank the people that hurt you. I’ll explain why.

The people that love us are the people that have always been there through the good the bad and the ugly. They are the ones that will sit in the car with you while you cry your eyes out. They truly are the ones that have helped you become you, but what made you cry is the critical question. Over my past three years here at Cortland a few years before that I have learned what it's like to be treated like crap. I have had people cause me pain — whether it is a friend, a boyfriend or a best friend. It's pain that comes in a hard wave, it knocks us on the ground. But you get back up. You manage to stand back on your own two feet and look at the world with that beautiful light in your eyes.

We let these people have so much control over our feelings and our emotions, that we can lose track of who we are and what we want to accomplish. To the people that hurt me, thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not a strong woman, because in reality you made me become a strong woman. Thank you for making me cry, because you made me realize what true happiness is. Thank you for all the bad you brought me, because it brought out all the good. You made me realize that I will always be a better person than you. Sure by tearing me apart you felt a little better, but how long did that last?

Without the people that caused pain, you would never be able to see all the amazing and beautiful things there are in this world. You wouldn’t be able to become a strong confident person.

The people that loved you are the ones that stuck around, they were the ones that ate cookies with you while you cried or lay in bed when you could barely find the strength to get up.

Now to the people that have loved me, you guys truly are amazing. You were able to see me at my worst and still be able to love me. You were the ones that would beat the next person up if they hurt me. You guys are amazing and I am more than thankful for all that has been done. I always know I have someone to cover my back or be there when I need them at 2 a.m.

So remember to thank the people that hurt you for all the strength they gave you, for all the confidence and always remember that you are so much better than them. Don’t forget to also thank the people that love you and stood by your side. They watched you become who you are and learned to love all parts of you.