I was sitting in one of my best friend’s rooms, and I noticed a new sign she had put up in her window. It had a quote on it, much like a lot of the art seen in college girl’s bedrooms, including my own, but this sign was…different. It was black, with white writing, and the solemn text read I can’t tell if it’s killing me or making me stronger. I thought this was… dark. And a little unpromising and dreary. I asked her why she had such a defeated seeming mantra on display, and she responded,

“See, I don’t see it that way. When I look at it, I’m reminded that my struggles are in actuality helping me grow and change to become someone better and stronger.” I read the sign again… and I began to understand what she meant.

The part of the sign that really confused me at first was the “I can’t tell...” The not knowing whether something is going to turn out to be a good or bad thing is just another way of saying “it’s up to you to decide how this goes.” Perspective is something that people easily forget about. You are in control of how you view the things that happen to you. Every negative situation can inspire positive change. It’s not a requirement to stay the same person for these four years, in fact, that’s beside the point. Bad things happen so you can get closer to the good. And uncertainty is a friend we should get to know well and love because they’re here to stay but it’s also the friend that keeps us on our toes and keeps life engaging and challenging. Instead of seeing uncertainty as a looming presence of anxiety, we should see it as our opportunity to embrace change and increase our self-awareness in difficult times.

As college students, we are constantly being pulled and pushed in a million different directions. Putting ourselves in relationships and situations and classes that constantly put us outside of our comfort zones and makes us ask ourselves who we really are, separate from who our parents want or expect us to be. Under these conditions, it is so easy to feel weighed down and constantly exhausted at fighting the stress, expectations, and responsibility of being on our own, all while having to make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives. But that’s just the beauty of our 20s… the decision-making and the constant questioning are all just part of the process. And the things that seem to poke and prod on our sanity and make us reevaluate where our lives are heading are really the impetuses that allow us to grow and adapt, as well as build the armor that will protect us as we make our mark on the world outside of college.

So the sign might say: I can’t tell if it’s killing me or making me stronger

But I say: the things that seem to be killing me are only making me stronger and more ready for the exhilarating and transformative things to come.