To Whom It May Concern, Which is Essentially Everyone:

I read your description for the opening on your website and would like to inquire about the position. I recently graduated from college and am looking for a full-time position, preferably in the field in which I got my degree. Let’s be honest, though, I just need any job at this point because now that I have graduated, I am expected to be an adult and start paying off these student loans that I took out to better my chances of getting this job to begin with.

Your job posting states that would like someone who has at least five years of experience within this field, but I ask you... does it really take that much experience to be successful in this position? I am essentially a newborn in this specific field, but I have plenty of past work experience, just not in this position. From this, I understand the commitment, drive and dedication required to be successful. After all, I committed years to my education so I could one day become a successful businessperson. And while I may not have five years of working experience in this field specifically, I have five years of experience in plenty of other things. For instance, I am highly experienced in drowning in a sea of expectations. Take, for example, the expectation that I will land a job right out of college. Well, me and every other recent college graduate who are now the proud owners of a very expensive piece of paper with our names and degrees on them. Let me assure you, I am well qualified for this entry level position.

I am very efficient at working on little to no sleep in pursuit of meeting said expectations. In addition, I have learned not to crumble under pressure—which has often meant binge eating and drinking—but there’s no judgment here, right? I have also been praised for my positive attitude which is yet another reason why I would be well suited for this position. Well, maybe not positive attitude, and maybe they were not necessarily praising me, and maybe it was my parents whom I am referring to, but that is beside the point. It would make them extremely happy to know that I am a working member of society.

Help me become a real, functioning adult. My resume, which is enclosed, contains additional information in regards to my previous experience and skills. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to work for your company. Actually, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to work for any company, because as I said, these loans aren’t paying for themselves.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration. I look forward to learning more about this opportunity and speaking with you. I implore you, please contact me. I’m not pathetic, I promise. I really do want this job. Well, more than just wanting it, I need it. Please, take a chance on me! I can’t live off of mac n’ cheese and frozen meals forever. Plus, these bar tabs aren’t going to pay for themselves.

Sincerely,

A Desperate Recent College Graduate