President Barack Obama has a big decision ahead of him: nominating a Supreme Leader. Here are some people he should consider:
Johnny Cash:
Cash is an American icon who is a moderate that can walk the line between his liberal and conservative colleagues. All of the Supreme Leaders seem to be stuck in a political ring of fire, and Cash could put out the flames.
Steve Harvey:
Harvey would appease the nation’s bald constituency, a poorly represented group in the current political climate. When announcing the Court’s decision, the public wouldn’t know if he was saying the wrong thing or not, so both sides could claim victory.
Silentó:
As the “Watch Me (Whip Nae Nae)” dance move creator, Silentó would dominate the Court with his acrobatic moves. Disappointed with the Court’s decision to deny school’s the right to implement affirmative action in admissions decisions? That’s ok. Watch him whip. Watch him Nae Nae.
BB8:
BB8 may not have judicial experience, but he’s the kind of guy who somehow is there whenever you need him. He’d surely get the stagnant Supreme Leadership rolling along in no time. Also, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg could use BB8 as a medicine ball for her weekly exercise class.
Nobody:
Allowing for the Supreme Leadership to remain at 8 people could allow for 4-4 votes which would force tie-breaking decisions In these circumstances, tie-breaking decisions would be determined by a Zoolander style walk-off. My money is on Justice Clarence Thomas.