Part of me hates New Years Resolutions. Probably because most of them consist of losing weight to achieve the perfect body image or other "transformations" that will only last about two weeks. A month, if you're lucky or highly motivated. The other part, the part that considers 2018 to be a blank slate and a full 385 days to reinvent myself,  jumps at the opportunity to share my aspirations. My big goal for the year is to be healthier- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Vague, right?? 

So here are 8 small transformations to make my big 2018 resolution come true.

1. Find a workout, or activity, that I enjoy and stick with it. And go to the gym regularly.

For me, that would be boxing. It's such a great stress-reliever! Also, going to the gym on a regular basis is good for my physical AND mental health.

2. Eat a well-balanced diet.

I have a problem with bingeing and purging, I remember taking candy to school for my friends and teachers and eating it all before it got to them or buying three to four candy bars from the vending machine and eating them all at once. And recently, I've been purging even if what I ate wasn't considered a "binge".

It's crucial to my life and well-being that I establish a well-balanced diet. Eat more veggies and fruit, but also realize that eating a cupcake and going to Starbucks isn't something to be ashamed of.

?3. Take self-care seriously

I have serious self-esteem issues. I don't think muck of myself, mostly because I'm too busy thinking of other people. I'm trying harder to listen to my body/mind and speak up when something is wrong. Taking care of and loving myself first, which will enable me to love others more fully.

4. Write more.

I love to write. Always have, It helps me articulate my thoughts and feelings when I can't verbally make them come out. It's also a good self-regulation tool.

5. Trust more. Be vulnerable.

I don't trust people. I just don't. I did when I was little and it bit me in the ass. But I need to. I will never form a meaningful relationship with ANYONE, not even God, without trust.

6. Find myself.

Easier said than done. I escape my isolation and depression by pretending to live in a T.V. show, being a person who is more powerful and important than I feel that I really am. This is no way to live. I want to find who I am, not who I'm pretending to be.

7. Ask for help.

I cannot accomplish these resolutions or overcome these demons alone. I need to seek help; most definitely from God, but my parents and friends, and maybe even a therapist.

8. Do what makes me happy and healthy, not what others want me to do. #SorryNotSorry?