When I was 17, after years of wrestling with it, I finally took off my cross, put my Bible away, and became a proud member of the First Church of Devout Agnostics. For those reading this who don't know, an agnostic basically is the lovechild of religion and atheism. Maybe, or maybe not, on the whole "God question." And in the years that I started telling people that my current deity of choice is the Flying Spaghetti Monster in control of the universe, here are a few things I've consistently heard about my godlessness, that I assume other agnostics and atheists are sick of hearing too.

1. "So you don't believe in anything?"

I believe in quite a few things: justice, equality, love, the healing power of stories, that Eve was framed, and that Buffy and Angel were endgame. At the moment a disembodied sentient deity isn't on the list.

2. "Without religion what would keep people from stealing and murdering?"

Well both are rather illegal. Jokes aside, if being a part of a religion makes you a better person, great! I'm happy for you. Truly I am. But you don't need to be religious to be a good person. And I'm truly sick of the narrative that atheists and agnostics are heathens just because they are atheists and agnostics. You don't need religion to be a good person, you just need empathy and a conscience.

3. Me: "Happy Holidays!" Them: "You can't take Christ out of Christmas!"

I wasn't trying to. I know a lot of different people who celebrate many different holidays. I find it less complicated to just say happy holidays acknowledging that for some Dec. 25 is a day for movies and Chinese food.

4. "But you'll go to Hell."

I truly don't doubt I'm going to Hell, but for other reasons, mostly things involving my college applications (admissions office, if you're reading this, I'm totally joking).

5. "You'll find your way back to God eventually."

OK, maybe not never. But really what if I said, "You'll find your way away from God eventually?" That sounds a little obnoxious doesn't it? I have no idea what's going to happen it my life. And I kind of like it that way. Please don't plan it for me.

6. "You're just trying to fit in."

Sigh. People who opt out of religion have their reasons. The consensus of the people I know is that they looked inside belief systems and found nothing that appealed to them. And it's insulting to imply beliefs are a phase or a fad, because they differ from your own.

7. "It's fine to be unsure, as long as you know there is a God."

More sighing. How obnoxious would it be if I said to someone devout, "That's fine to be sure, as long as you know there isn't really a God?"

8. "I'll pray for you."

I don't mind if it makes you feel better to pray for me. Or if I'm ill, it's nice of you to think of me. But don't inform me you'll pray for my depraved, damaged soul. It's annoying.

9. "You know there is historical evidence that Jesus existed."

Thanks for the update. Doesn't really change anything for this at this point in my life. Would you like me to give you a rundown of all the inconsistencies in the Bible? No, because that would be rude and I respect your right to believe whatever you want. I want you to go to [insert place of worship here] every hour of every day if that's what you want. Just don't try to guilt or shame me and others into the way you choose to live.