I have a hard time expressing my thoughts and emotions. At times it is easier for me to type it out. I assume the process of slowing down and thinking helps me express myself better.
As a young child, living in a broken home, I was unable to express how I felt, or if I felt anything at all. I walked on eggshells daily and taught myself how to distance my feelings away from even myself to avoid being treated terrible by my stepdad.
He was very violent, physically and verbally, as a result, I would hide in my room and sorted it out by "forgetting", or "ignoring". I was scared, he was reacted worse on anyone's emotions.
20+ years later, I still can not put together my rumbled feelings and spit words out in an understandable sentence.
I cannot convey how I feel easily. I tend to get upset and close myself off. The words are not there. I walk away, I'm quiet. It bottles up.
Therefore, I started blogging. It helps me, gives me the escape I need to express myself. I am very much a newbie. However, I hope that at least one person can relate to me and know they are not alone.