“We know from daily life that we exist for other people first of all, for whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.” ―Albert Einstein
It's not possible for you to keep in touch with your friends all the time. Inversely, it’ll be difficult for them to keep in touch with you. In that case, it would develop a toxic relationship between you and your friends. If you are friends with someone and you haven’t followed up with them in two weeks or more than five months, occasionally, that is okay. Friendship is not necessarily based on how many times people keep in touch with one another. Too much time spent together will manifest the toxicity of your relationship. Keeping in touch with your friends should be your individual choice; not an expectation you imposed on yourself or your friend might have imposed on you.
To help sustain a balanced relationship, once in a while, you can give them a phone call, send them a personal letter, a video chat, or text message. This is just to see how they’re doing if they don't have time to see you in person.
Just because a friend of yours hasn’t gotten back to you on two or more occasions, doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Sometimes, to show that you care about your friends, you need to give them their space to re-energize.
Some people who have pessimistic attitudes might claim that friendship is overrated, or that friendship is a fantasy. Nevertheless, this is not true. A reason why people might identify friendship through a pessimistic lens is because they’re afraid. They might feel like they have trouble making themselves vulnerable enough to trust others. Next, they might be afraid that they will not be understood. Another example is that they might have difficulty accepting they need people in their lives to function well and grow.
Though extroverts, introverts and ambiverts have varying predilections in making friends, here are five, essential facets that define a friend:
1. Empathy.
You can’t be a good friend to someone if you’re unwilling to empathize with what your friend is experiencing regardless of whether it's a negative or positive circumstance. If your friend recently found a full-time working position as a proofreader, graphic designer, a teacher or copywriter, you should be supportive in their accomplishment. If your friend is sad, frustrated or depressed, you need to prepare yourself to examine how they're feeling and listen.
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” ―Henry David Thoreau
2. Impartiality.
In order for you to be someone’s friend, you need to treat them as your equal. When factoring in race, gender, culture, class, religion, ethnicity and sexual orientation, it isn't safe to assume a society that you live in will see and respect you and your friend the same way. You need to have an understanding of social stratification and social inequality. Say you’re friends with a person of color -- to truly treat them as your equal, you need to acknowledge the Black Lives Matter movement. If you say that you don’t see color, or have willfully chosen to not understand that your friend doesn’t experience any economic, social, psychological, emotional or racial disadvantages in a socially stratified society, you can’t be their friend.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have find the ones worth suffering for.” ―Bob Marley
3. Narrative.
When you befriend someone, you have to get a glimpse of their historical background. One of the most powerful things some people bond with one another on are similar experiences. When you understand someone’s historical inner life, the relationship between you and your friend is likely to becoming stronger.
“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” ―Aristotle
4. Influence.
When you’ve made a well-built, transcendental connection with your friends, you’ve become their role model to some degree, and vice versa. They have hopeful visions of you prospering in the world, as you do for them. In the many short-term and long-term goals you plan to endeavor, and the obstacles you'll face, they’ll do what they can to motivate and support you.
“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me…just be my friend.” ―Albert Camus
5. Essence.
Essence is the foremost asset of being a friend. Once you choose to make yourself vulnerable to trust and befriend people, the next step is to be yourself. This becomes a reality by becoming conscious of your thoughts, forgiving, loving and accepting yourself as you are. If you act or speak in a way that is not in agreement with what makes you yourself, you can’t be a friend to anyone else. Follow your feelings. If someone doesn’t like you because they can’t accept who you are, you did nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to curtail who you are to be accepted by others. That would mean you’re not genuine with your inner self. Friends love and appreciate one another for who they are.
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” ―Muhammad Ali