This letter is for all the girls who dream of romance, passion, and true love.
For those who don't believe in these things, you have every reason not to. In today's world, the word love is thrown around loosely. We say it because we think we mean it, but after some time, we realize it wasn't love that we were feeling, it was infatuation with the idea of it.
To say I am envious of what love used to consist of is an understatement. With the number of influences surrounding us in todays day and age, we have a very specific idea of what love is supposed to be.
To us, love is a well worded text, getting the kiss emoji or even being "Facebook official". Now, this may not be true for everyone, but for most of us, that long text describing how much he cares about you is just as special as receiving flowers.
None of us expect anything extravagant (we may say we do, but we realize in the end it's the little things that matter most). The question is, are the little things today different from how they used to be? We all want to be cared for, but due to modern day influences, the emotional part of love seems to have vanished.
I love you isn't expressed through a tiffany box or diamonds. For our grandparents, the expression of love was defined by the passion of touch, thoughts and actions. I'm not saying love is hopeless because believe me, I know its real. But girls, be frugal with who you let into your heart. I've found that the boy I love most is the boy I can be whatever version of myself with and, no matter how weird I am, he still sees the twinkle in my eye. Love is everything you can't give yourself and more. It is seeing the infatuation, desire, and hope behind the idea of forever. We all want to be cared for, and dream about being swept off our feet by our perfect man, but ladies, you have to be willing to just let it happen.
If you were to ask people today what the difference is between relationships today and relationships our grandparents experienced the number one thing they would say is passion.
We watch shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette and allow ourselves to believe love can be forged from elaborate dates, with the most unrealistic situations. In all honesty, we would have all been better off believing the best way to fall in love is through a glass slipper, pumpkin, and fairy godmother.
Of course dates like these existed in our grandparents days of dating, and of course passion is still present in todays relationships, but it's the difference between how passion was expressed then and how it is expressed now.
The difference is simplicity. To us, the idea of doing something simple for the one you "love" isn't sending them flowers just because, or opening the door for you, or even telling you you're beautiful here and there. We value being called hot, but even to be told you're sexy seems more intimate. Instead we define simple as what is most convenient, such as texting rather than talking on the phone. Or another view today is the idea that simple is never enough. I know we don't enjoy admitting that this generation is overly concerned with materialistic things, but it's true. It shouldn't be about what gifts you get or what lavish dinners he takes you on. It is the time and effort behind the thought that's important, not the amount your man is willing to spend on you. Both misconceptions of simplicity fog our vision to the truth. Simplicity is another way of saying we care for someone.
So here's the point of this article. There is no one definition of love, and we all feel it differently, but we all know what isn't love. Before you go throwing the word around like you would a kiss in kindergarten to a boy on the play ground, think to yourself, what makes this boy so special? If he can make you smile, smile back, and show him how a small smile is the biggest compliment he could give you. If you can easily say your best friend is also your boyfriend, treat him like you would your friends. If he makes you cry or upsets you here and there, good - it means you care. If you fight but in the end always come to an agreement where you both feel like you were heard, you've got something good. Hold onto it.
For any boys reading this article, the same goes for you. Love is just as important and meaningful to you as it is to girls, this I am sure of. Show each other passion, communication, and most importantly, respect one another. We've all heard these tips, and yet, we still seem to get caught up in the modern day interpretations of love.
We all want it, we all can have it, and we all deserve to have it. Look back at how simple things used to be, put down your phone and get personal with your "bae".
A special girl inspired me to write this article because I saw how "love" today can fade quickly without passion from both sides. I watched a beautiful girl get her heart broken because she cared too much, and he cared too little. So fall in love. Fall hard. But love passionately and care deeply, and never lose sight of what's important.