I am the master of my fate. Think about this for a moment. I know you clicked on this because you, too, were wondering, is my life going in the direction I want it to? Have I spent my entire life living someone else’s, and am I nowhere near knowing who I am going to be? It may be fear of failure, it may be that you always want to please everyone else. We have to stop thinking like this. Our lives are never going to be full if we continue to do so. Our lives are ours, no one else’s, and it’s time we start believing it.

Do you want to do this? Is always the first question to ask yourself once you realize you’ve lost yourself in the needs of others.’ Whether it be going to a certain restaurant, going to a party, or even canceling your plans for someone else’s. What do you want to do? If the answer is no, don’t do it. Of course, if you agreed on plans in advanced or if anyone is in need of your help, put that into consideration before you have your answer. Living your life doesn’t mean disregarding everyone else, it simply means giving your opinion a higher value in your decision. This also doesn’t mean you have to be with a group of people 24/7.

Do not be afraid of the unknown. You will never find yourself if you are uncomfortable being solo. Just because we are conditioned to avoid individualism doesn’t mean we should. Go to the library by yourself, go eat by yourself, travel—safely—by yourself. You cannot imagine all the grand possibilities of life if you are stuck on the fact that no one will go with you. Making your own path is the greatest thing you will ever do. All oppressions end with someone standing up, alone, for their cause. Your oppression should, too.

So spend more time on yourself. Take care of yourself as well as you take care of others. Learn to put your needs before others in order to keep your life straight. Then once you are comfortable with this, spend time with yourself. If you love to write, keep a journal. If you love staring at things for hours, start dabbling in photography so you can capture anything and have it forever. Fill your life with simple joys, activities, books, movies; find what you love and do it.

As for me, I can say this has been successful. I stopped living other’s lives and started living my own and I have never been happier. Sure, I still get upset whenever I feel like I have let others down, but I realized what is important in life and what wasn’t. I have become dependent upon myself and my needs, and I have gotten closer to God in the process. I do not need the approval or company of others to satisfy my life. Maybe along the way, I will find others who have also been living life this way and join them but until then, I am happy in my own self.