Dear Little Kyra,

If Stephen Hawking's theories of time and space are correct, then that means you somehow exist in another dimension, so hopefully this reaches you. I also know you don't really know who Stephen Hawking is since you really suck at math and science, and don't care about anything having to do with either subject (and, unfortunately, you'll always suck at math and science, but don't worry, you kill it in the humanities and in street-smarts), but you'll find in a few years that Stephen Hawking means a lot to you.

You see, Little Kyra, you're about to go through a lot of changes, and you might already be going through them. No, this isn't the puberty talk, but your body is going to change a lot—and in very strange and kind of scary ways, too.

If you aren't aware already, you've begun to walk on your toes, and it's also become a lot more difficult for you to keep up with your peers. It'll be after one of your travel soccer games that mom will ask why you're walking so funny, and why you were so out of it during the game (although, you're usually out of it because you're not a very good soccer player). You'll just wave off mom's comments and not think much of it, and in the days following you'll consciously try to keep your feet as flat as possible, and make it appear as if your energy level is completely normal. As smart as you think you are, though, mom is just a little bit smarter, and she'll see that you're forcing yourself to walk normally and acting as if everything is okay—even though it's far from it.

That's just the beginning of your life completely changing, though. It doesn't seem like a big deal at the time, and you're under the impression that medicine can fix everything and has all the answers to everything. Unfortunately, it doesn't, and I still don't know if it ever will, but I do know that it's going to help even when it seems like it's only hurting.

You're going to be poked and prodded a lot. You'll be observed by various doctors, and strangers they bring along with them—none of them bothering to introduce themselves or even learn your name. You'll feel like an object that's on display, almost as if you're an art installation in a museum and people are talking about what they think of the object, believing that their words don't carry any meaning.

The next few years are going to be the hardest. It'll only be years of being in the dark, and not knowing what was and is still happening to your body. You'll start to walk higher and higher on your toes, you'll slow down even more, and you're not going to weigh more than 48 pounds until you're 13-years-old, because your spine is going to curve in every which way, and it's going to compress your stomach, heart, lungs, and other major organs. You're super tough and resilient, though, and you carry on as if everything is okay, but "okay" soon becomes a distant memory.

As your body changes, people's views of you will change, too. You're so young, but you know better than anyone that people tend to judge based on physical appearance, despite the fact that they can easily come up to you and get to know you as a person. Even though it'll feel like it, you aren't your physical appearance, and you never will be.

You're going to hear a lot of gossip about you, and you're going to see and hear a lot of people whispering. Don't let the comments and assumptions get to you, though. Don't let the assumption that you have an eating disorder get to you. You can't help that you can't eat more than four ounces of food at a time because your stomach can't expand. And please, I'm begging you, do not believe the rumor that you have a brain tumor killing you, and that's why you appear to be slowly wasting away. You know you're not dying, even though it may feel like it at times, and you learn that there are certain people who can't be trusted with facts about yourself because they'll twist it and turn it into some sort of rumor that is far from the truth. You know the truth, and that's all the matters. No one has to know what's going on with you, and you can't do anything about people's ignorance and immaturity. You're going to have to grow up a lot faster than your peers, so remember that it's not their fault. All of those comments and rumors will hurt and scare you, but please don't allow them to. They are invalid to your life.

Everything is going to remain rather static until you're 13-years-old. When you're 13-years-old, you're going to undergo a really intense surgery, which is going to save and drastically improve your life. You're going to get a team of amazing doctors who sincerely care about you, and view you as a person, not as an unknown medical condition. You'll be terrified to receive the surgery, and you're going to go through a lot of other scary things beforehand—like having a feeding tube surgically implanted into your stomach so you can gain enough weight to undergo the surgery. The thought of undergoing such an invasive operation will shake you to your core, and the road to being eligible for the surgery will take a lot out of you. Trust me when I say it's worth it, though.

All of the pain and emotional distress you're going through, and will go through, is worth it by the time you have this surgery. It straightens out your spine as much as possible, your stomach, heart, lungs, and other organs will no longer be compressed, and you'll feel like an entirely new person! For a few months after the surgery, things will feel like they're looking up, until you're hospitalized again because your heart is working too hard, causing fluid to accumulate on your lungs. That hospitalization is what changes your life in ways you probably can't even imagine.

When you're 13-years-old, you'll be in a wheelchair and on a ventilator. It'll feel like it's the end of the world. You'll fear that everyone will view you as a "freak," and you'll be terrified to face the world. One day, though, you'll have one of your biggest dreams come true, and you'll get to meet Justin Bieber through the Make A Wish foundation (I know you don't know who Justin Bieber is at this point in your life, but he's coming and he's going to help you through a lot of the hardest times. Also, at this point in time, you think Make A Wish is only for kids who are terminal, but it's for kids with life-threatening medical conditions too, as your condition is since you'll have died once when you're 13, and almost died another time when you're 13)! The day you go to meet Justin Bieber is the first day you'll face the world since your life so drastically changed. It'll be one of the best days of your life, and you'll see that the world isn't as scary and intimidating as you think it'll be, and people will treat you with kindness and respect. Even so, you'll still be faced with people staring at you, pointing at you, and whispering about you while looking directly at you—this time, it'll be from the strangers around you, instead of your peers at school. You may even see people trying to sneak a photo or video of you (and you'll also have a lot of people blessing you and praying for you—it'll be awkward, but it's kind and flattering to see that complete strangers care that much, so just go with it). Then again, all the unwanted attention could just be a result of your striking good looks. Either way, don't let any of it get to you. Carry on as if it doesn't feel like all eyes are on you, and that you're just like everyone else—because you are. Your physical appearance is unique, but it doesn't define you, and neither do any of the stares, finger points, or whispers.

Over time, you learn to face the world more head-on, and you even get to go to high school (you'll be home schooled in your freshman year, though). Pretty much none of your peers, only your closest friends, will know where you've been or what's happened to you, as you'll have left school in eighth grade without a single word. Your return is pretty epic. Everyone will look like they just saw a ghost, and they'll all also be really nice and welcoming. You'll sail right through high school, and you'll maintain a low-key and "mysterious" facade, even though there's not much mystery behind someone who can binge watch an eight season series in three days, and tries to not wear pants whenever possible. Keep everyone wondering, though!

Amazingly, you do graduate from high school, despite passing the geometry and physics regents by one point. I won't even tell you about trigonometry because that class took more of an emotional and physical toll on you than your medical condition ever did. Similarly, you also get into college! Even better, you go to college! You do everything that a "normal" kid does, and more, even though you aren't the typical "normal." There are going to be so many points where you want to give up because you feel as if you'll never get to live a happy or fulfilled life. You get all of that, though. You'll prove everyone wrong, including yourself. All the self-doubt and fear is completely meaningless, because your life goes on, and it goes on in incredible ways.

Little Kyra, what I want you to take away from this is, yes, what you're going to go through is scary, and you'll wish every single day that it isn't happening to you. Strangely, though, as you get older, you'll start to become thankful that you're going to go to hell and back, because if you didn't you probably wouldn't be the person who is writing this. And the person who is writing this is really happy with and proud of the person they are (even though they still have more growing to do). Some people even go as far as calling you "inspiring," though you'll never really see what's so inspiring about getting up and facing the day just like everyone else. Some good news (because I still want there to be some surprises for you) is that you'll never have to go through your adolescent identity crisis, because you determine very early on that you are not the things that are wrong with you, like your medical condition, or the things you wish you could be. Your condition does make you different and unique, though, and because you never get a diagnosis (you're a medical anomaly; pretty cool, right?), you just consider yourself "chronically unique." It encompasses your condition, but also you as a person.

Everything that you're going to go through, you come out of more improved in some way, shape, or form. You'll see that even when everything seems impossible, absolutely nothing is impossible. It seems unimaginable and impossible that your life goes the way it's going to go, and at many times it'll also seem impossible that you make it as far as you do, in your eyes and in the eyes of your friends, family, and doctors. Your life is going to be different, but that just means you'll have to go about doing things differently—and being different is a good thing.

Something else I need you to take away from this is that, yes, everything is happening to you, but it's also happening to your friends and family. As difficult as it is for you to go through everything, it is, even more, difficult to watch you have to go through it. Be strong for yourself, but more importantly, be strong for your friends and family. They're going to rally around you, so you have to rally around them. They're going to give you a remarkable life even when it seems as if your life is completely unremarkable.

Little Kyra, you're going to defy all the odds, just like Stephen Hawking defied all the odds. You can do anything you want to do, as long as you set your mind to it. You never have let anything stop you, and I promise that you never will. Just know that everything is okay in the end. Actually, everything is great in the end. What seems like the end, though, is just the beginning. It's going to be tough, but I know you'll make it through.

Welcome to your new beginning.

Sincerely,

18-year-old Kyra