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A Lazy Girl's Guide To Getting By

Part satire, part 100% fact

Taylor Drysdale

Jan 29, 2017

Northeastern University

New York Magazine

Fellow procrastinators rejoice; you are not alone.

If you're lazy like me, or just want to learn how to master the art, then this guide is for you!

1. Shorten your morning routine so you can sleep in more

Who needs makeup and a nice outfit when you can get ten minutes of extra sleep instead?

2. Master the art of procrastination

Put off everything until the absolute last second. Although it will increase your anxiety, it will make sure that when you finally get around to whatever it is you're avoiding you'll get it done fast. Nothing like the thrill of a deadline to get you going.

3. If you aren't multi-tasking then you're not doing it right

Brush your teeth in the shower, eat food while driving. Some people may call it lazy, but I call it using your time effectively.

4. Learn how to prioritize

Figure out what is important and do that first. If it can wait, let it wait.

5. Own as many pairs of sweatpants as possible

The world's most comfortable clothing. There is no such thing as too many pairs of sweatpants. And tip for girls: men's sweatpants are much comfier and have actual pockets!!!

6. Teach yourself to french braid

Seriously, people with long hair, this will change your life. When you french braid your hair you can leave it in the braid for days and nobody has to know!!

7. Find fellow lazy friends

Sure, adventuring is fun every once in awhile. But, make sure that the people you hang out with are also down for just lounging around.

8. Febreeze fixes everything

Messy room? Febreeze fixes that. Forgot to do laundry? It works for that too. It might sound gross, but don't knock it until you try it.

9. If you can't make it to your bed, just lay on the floor

After a long day of work, school, or god forbid- exercise, you need to rest. And just as you're about to lay in your bed you realize you never put away all that laundry that's now on top of the covers. Don't be distraught! The floor works just as well. My motto: everything is a bed if you try hard enough.

10. Leggings are pants

Don't fight me on this.

I'm wearing leggings I will win.

11. Embrace the lazy

Don't let anyone get you down. You do you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

A Lazy Girl's Guide To Getting By

Part satire, part 100% fact

1. Shorten your morning routine so you can sleep in more

2. Master the art of procrastination

3. If you aren't multi-tasking then you're not doing it right

4. Learn how to prioritize

5. Own as many pairs of sweatpants as possible

6. Teach yourself to french braid

7. Find fellow lazy friends

8. Febreeze fixes everything

9. If you can't make it to your bed, just lay on the floor

10. Leggings are pants

11. Embrace the lazy

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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