The orange sun began to rise in the peak over the light brown sand from the view at the house. When I woke up, everyone was asleep except for me and I stepped outside on the balcony early in the morning. A cold breeze fell over my shoulder and I knew right then and there something was wrong.

Turning on my cell phone, I realized that a girl named Lainey Banks who was a friend of Kate McAfee called me several times which was unusual. Lainey and I never talked but we were both friends with Kate McAfee who was my best friend.

I met Kate during Christmas break of 2007 as, snow fell. The cold breeze brushed against my red cheeks when I entered the Towson Mall in Owings Mills MD with my Aunt. I saw this brunette girl, whom I assumed to be Kate McAfee, wearing a warm, heartfelt smile as she emerged from the crowd of shoppers, her arms wide open to hug me. I hugged her back. The first words I heard her say were, “We are going to be friends for a long time.”

I poured myself a bowl of cheerios and decided to call her back downstairs. My racing heart skipped a beat, when I heard the three rings then a click. Kate McAfee, my best friend died two hours ago in surgery. She was getting the transplant that she needed to live a normal teenage life. In that moment of time my world stopped and everything stood still. Nothing mattered to me. I felt alone and sad. Turning off my phone, I proceeded to cry for endless hours. The tears kept flowing from my eyes. I could not breathe. All I wanted was my best friend back. My family tried to help me. I did not want help nor did I want to talk about her dying. It was unreal to me. Later that night, Anger began to build inside of me. God took away my best friend. The hospital failed her. Everyone failed her.

Her mother and my aunt were dating at the time. My father lived with my aunt in Maryland. Whenever I came to visit, I always stayed in Kate's room. Kate had Pulmonary Hypertension where her heart was too big for her lungs. She always had to have an oxygen tank with her at all times and could not walk far places without a wheelchair. Kate and I shared more than clothes, books, makeup; we shared each others secrets. Kate was a free fun spirit to be around. She never once let her medical condition stop her from doing anything. I grew a close bond to Kate. She was sixteen years old and understood me from the rest of crowd. I could tell her anything; no matter how bad it was. She never judged me. Living miles apart from each other, we cared about each other. She was my family. I never viewed her as a cousin, she felt more like a sister to me. Especially when I would have to leave my dads house to return back to Hershey Pa. Kate and I would cry our eyes out and she would call me until I made it back home safely. I will never forget the memories that her and I shared. She will always be my best friend.

Since that morning when the cold breeze fell over my shoulders, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I am still unsure about everything. I don’t know where I go after I die. I don’t know who exactly God means to me. I don’t know what I believe. Kate always had faith in God. She believed that when she died that she would be going to heaven. I like to believe that she is watching down on me from heaven. The way that she lived her life was in complete happiness no matter what the circumstances were at the time. She was always happy and lived every moment like it was her last. Right now, I am still unsure about God and death. But Kate made me realize that later in life when It is my time to go, I will need to have comfort that wherever we go after we die, that I will be okay and that when I grow older, I need to have faith in a God.