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The 25 Stages Of Thanksgiving Day

Gobble, gobble

Claire Dolson

Nov 25, 2015

James Madison

via hercampus.com

1. You wake up excitedly anticipating a day of football and food.

2. You vow to eat nothing all day so your stomach is primed for the night of its life.

3. You walk downstairs to turn on the TV, but instead are informed that you will be participating in a Turkey Trot.

4. You only agree to participate, and struggle through the race, because you will be rewarded later tonight.

5. You come home and watch football, feeling proud of yourself because you exercised and know that now you can eat more at dinner.

6. You travel back and forth between the living room and kitchen, pretending to help, when in reality you are making sure your favorite foods are being handled with the utmost respect.

7. Your extended family arrives -- thank God, Grandma brought the sweet potatoes.

8. You dodge grade/relationship/career questions, because No. Thanksgiving is for joy and thanks, and you experience neither when answering those questions.

9. Your mom calls you in to the dining room -- your time has come.

10. You get in line for the buffet -- Um, excuse me cousin Nancy, I was here first.

11. You pile your plate high, ignoring Aunt Suzy’s disapproving stares. Bye, Aunt Suzy.

12. You sit down at the table. Your whole life has led up to this moment.

13. Prayers and thanks are exchanged, when really all everyone wants is to consume.

14. OK, finally it’s time. You take the first delicious bite.You've never been so thankful for anything in your whole life.

15.—17. You eat.

18. You start to realize your brother was right -- you can’t eat it all.

19. You immediately enter mind-over-matter mode, because you have to make it to dessert.

20. You pretend like you don’t feel as if you’re made of stuffing (the food) and, with slight disgust, put a piece of pie and scoop of ice cream on your plate.

21. Relief washes over you as you complete the task. You’re proud.

22. You remove yourself from the table.

23. You lie down on the couch.

24. You focus on not dying or vomiting, because either would be an unacceptable waste of good food.

25. You fall asleep, full, but ready for those turkey sandwiches tomorrow -- thank God for the Indians and Pilgrims.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 25 Stages Of Thanksgiving Day

Gobble, gobble

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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