During the course of our lives, one of the biggest difficulties is watching as people enter and exit throughout the process. And usually, it’s the loss of someone that seems to be the hardest part to cope with. Most of the time when we hear the words “lose” or “loss”, we automatically assume it means something negative, or that something great is now gone. However, the absence of a harmful person that you once knew can truly improve your life for the better. As people, we aren’t always perfect at knowing when the right time to walk away is. So with that said, I don’t think anyone should ever be shamed for when they do have the courage to know that right time. No matter what kind of relationship it is, it takes a certain kind of strength to free yourself from people that hurt you more than they help you. If you’re like me, the dependability that you work hard to maintain within your relationships is first priority. But at the end of the day, why keep someone that doesn’t deserve to be kept?

Upholding the presence of a toxic relationship in your life may not seem self-destructive, but it’s one of the most self-destructive choices you can make. Every single day that you continuously allow someone else’s destruction consume you, you are taking part in your own personal degrading; even if it doesn’t seem that way. Despite your mental list of reasons, convincing yourself letting that part of your life go is wrong, it’s not really the list that’s stopping you. It’s the fear of change and need we feel for familiarity in our lives. From personal experience, I can honestly say that allowing toxic individuals to linger throughout my life used to be a huge ongoing conflict for me. I would justify their behavior and pretend that the short list of pros somehow out-weighed the long list of cons. When in reality, deep down I knew I was letting them ruin such a great majority of my life. Once I finally decided to be less forgiving and rid myself of those who continued to hurt me, here and there I would almost feel as if there was judgement and shade being thrown my way for it. At first it made me feel like I was painting myself as a person who turned cold-hearted. But the truth was, I was just trying to finally start looking out for myself, and I was the happiest I had been in a while.

If the ability can be found to take a step back and begin to realize there are actions you can take to better the quality of your happiness, I think you should do it. Some may call you selfish, and others might accuse you of being unreliable. But once you actually begin to notice the sense of clarity that arises from the release of hurtful relationships, you won’t feel the need to justify yourself to anyone. I’m not saying don’t prioritize and work hard to better relationships that matter. But, if you are constantly watching as the same flame burns you, don’t be afraid to start choosing yourself.