There is an identity crisis occurring among many young adults as they go through the changes of college. While many adults say the “finding yourself” process is a rite of passage for college-age adults they are ignorant of the damage this issue causes many young adults.

Racial, sexual and personal identities become huge factors in people’s daily lives; from racially or sexually-based prejudice to the basic social pressure of knowing who you are. Having gone through freshman year and now into my sophomore year, I am in full swing in my own identity crisis.

I am a half Japanese and half white American female. I get my Japanese half from my father, who brought what little aspects of Japanese culture he knew into our home. My dad’s parents passed away before I was born so they could not share the culture with me either. Japanese food and small customs were still a part of my home life.

However, physically I do not appear to be half Japanese; in essence, my Japanese side remained in home life. It is often a shock to people when they discover I’m Japanese, or they only notice after I tell them. It was not until college, but I began to realize I had no idea how I identify myself because of this.

When applying for college there is a section that asks for your race and to check all that apply or pick one of the categories listed. If I check multiple I check Asian and Caucasian/white, but if it asks for one I check Caucasian/white.

Coming to college I became friends with more people who identified as other ethnicities and often held a very strong connection to this identity. I began to realize I did not. Since most people cannot tell I am Japanese it feels wrong to identify as Japanese, but I still feel a connection to my heritage.

Another major part of personal identity is sexual orientation. Coming from a liberal arts high school I was aware of other sexual identities besides straight (heterosexual) but I never considered classifying myself in any other way. Coming to college I have met people who are sure of their sexual preference and are very proud of it. I currently still identify as straight because that is what my experiences have led me to believe, but the fact that I do not feel as sure makes me question if I really know myself.

In a college-environment is there is a mounting pressure to figure identity out. This often leads a lot of people into dark places and bad decisions. Social pressures during college are much more intense than high school pressures. One reason for this is dorm life. Dorm life is a constantly social environment. This can make it hard to be alone. Being alone and being comfortable being alone is vital to understanding identity. If a person is constantly surrounded by other people their identity becomes almost dependent on those people.

This is what happened in my freshman year. Most of my friends were living in a different dorm hall, so I spent a majority of my free time with them and not in my dorm.

However, the fact that I did not live there affected these relationships. This made it hard for me to feel like I could be alone and not feel unwanted. My identity as a person was built on the activities and relationships I had with these people and if I had to be by myself I felt like I was not even a person but an empty shell. I thought that there was something wrong with me for not having people to be with all the time.

The other issue of dorm life is privacy goes out the window; particularly, sexual privacy. There is a pressure that develops that makes people feel if they have “accomplished” less sexually they are less than other people. Being a person with little sexual experience makes it is easy to succumb to the idea that being sexually active is important and makes a person worth more.

The processes of discovering identity in environments like this are unhealthy and damaging to a person. I have both seen and been the person following unhealthy habits. Having sex before you are ready, pushing your limits of drug use and putting social activities before school. The college culture around sex, drinking, and being social begin to take precedence over self-care, mental health, school work, and stability. Identity becomes about fitting in causing people to go beyond their personal limits to do so.

I asked some friends to answer questions about their identity. I asked how they identify and how it affects how they have developed their personal identity, or continue to struggle with it. Many of them feel like their racial and sexual identities are a large part or influence their personal identity.

One participant stated, “I have difficulty accepting [my racial identity] because of my fear that I won't be accepted into society if I am open about my heritage.” And when asked if their sexual orientation was influential in their identity another said, “I wouldn’t place it as the most important thing but since it dictates who I would hold a relationship with, yes it is important.” Another participant said their sexual orientation influenced their identity on a daily basis.

For most of us, personal identity has been an issue. One participant said “It has definitely been a struggle and a journey trying to understand who I am, and there was a lot of pressure especially freshmen year to be someone that really wasn't me” and another said, “it’s a constant battle.”

Personal identity is a struggle for most college-age adults because of mounting pressures to know it.

Many of my friends and I still struggle with the question of “who am I.” While I have yet to figure it out, over the past year I discovered the important thing is not to give in to being someone I know I am not. Personal acceptance is hard, but recognizing it is a struggle can lead to healthier means of personal discovery.