I am in the same position as many women in their 20s.

I am caught between the awesome equality-fueled society of today, where it's just as acceptable for a girl to text a guy to grab dinner or drinks; or even to come over and “Netflix and Chill” if she so pleases.

The career-driven women of today don’t always have time for serious relationships and the term “men are the desert” comes to mind.

But on the other hand, I have grown up hearing stories of men going to great lengths to pursue women they were interested in, and the term “chivalry is dead,” also comes to mind.

The baby boomers and generation X before us had one thing in common: The Chase.

What is The Chase you ask?

It’s effort. Not a lot of effort, but effort. It’s dates. It’s calls, not just texts. It’s just showing that you’re interested.

Girls used to be taught that they should not give a guy the time of day unless he shows some effort.

I was taught this as a child, and so were many of my friends.

In fact, my grandfather showed so much effort in pursuing my grandmother that she originally thought he was rich based on the extravagant dates he took her on.

(Turns out he was broke at the time.)

Today, it seems like if the opposite sex (or the same sex) shows even the most minuscule of attention to you, it should be praised as a major feat.

This is a problem.

The difference in today’s more gender equal world, is that both men and women can and should show the effort.

We can all participate in The Chase.

We can all date more than one person at once, like they used to back in the day.

It doesn’t have to fall all on the male’s shoulders anymore.

Just like we compete in the workplace, both men and women should be the aggressors when interested in someone.

It’s 2015. A very different time.

People used to get married at twenty-one, and now they are getting married at thirty-one.

We use the money we have for rent and adventures, we’re not investing for a home or a family.

But I am not living in a delusional dream world, there is Tinder, Snapchat, and iMessage now.

It doesn’t really take that much effort to do anything anymore.

These apps allow us to overthink a lot, and communicate face-to-face less.

I recently had a conversation with a guy friend who said he’s over a girl because she didn't seem interested in him.

He then went on to tell me that he never actually hung out with her in person.

The fact that we can have entire relationships with people on social media without ever even meeting them in person is scary in itself.

But Millennials have half the starting salaries and double the rent, so give us a break.

Sue us if we’re not showering one another with luxurious dates every weekend.

And shake your head at us for having entire relationships online.

However, don’t mistake this as a whiney millennial article.

Some effort from the other party is not too much to ask.

When I say effort I mean a “good morning” text, a spontaneous Chipotle date, random concert tickets, drinks on a Tuesday night, things like that.

And here’s the biggest kicker, the other person doesn’t have to be completely flabbergasted when you do these things.

The Chase is all about winning someone over, and you can use a number of tools.

Believe it or not in the age of perfect ombre hair, Kardashian lips, and contouring tutorials, its not just looks, but your personality and quirkiness that can catch someone’s eye.

Just showing the weird things about you that make you a worth while person to date can win someone over.

Maybe you’re a painter, or a graphic designer, or a writer, or you really love Nike sneakers, or you’re obsessed with Crossfit, or you’re a workaholic or you make the world’s best meatballs.

Getting to know someone, chasing them, learning what their passions are, seeing if they might like you back. That’s how they did it back in the day.

Generations before us may not have to deal with the same economic issues, and they may not understand why we focus so hard on our careers rather than on building a family.

But they did get the love thing right.

Most of us aren’t ready for the love thing.

But one day we will be. And I hope when you tell your children or your cloned dogs how you met your significant other, you have a good story to tell.

A story about how you chased them. How you saw something special in them, not how you hid behind a computer screen.