Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions are essential parts of human nature. It's your brain’s instinct to “fill in the gaps” in order to make sense of the world. Consequently, we tell ourselves “stories” about what is happening around us. This sounds harmless, right? Well, these stories in our minds shape how we feel, what we think, and how we act. So, what if you’re telling yourself a negative story? What if you are telling yourself a story that’s simply not true?

One of the “stories” that I used to have on repeat in my brain revolved around my recovery from mental illness. I used to tell myself that I would never recover from my depression. Why would I do that? I just thought it was true. This story played on repeat, and soon enough, it became a belief. I had convinced myself that I would be miserable forever. Yikes, huh? Spoiler: I was wrong, thank goodness, but anyway…This attitude I had towards my recovery was crippling for a long time, and it did nothing but harm.

The negative stories we tell ourselves don’t always have to be so dramatic. Here are some different examples:

• “I’m going to embarrass myself during my job interview.”
• “None of my art is any good.”
• “Everyone will laugh at me during my presentation.”
• “Everyone in this class is smarter than I am.”
• “Since he didn’t text me back, he must not like me anymore.”

Obviously, this kind of self-talk forms negative attitudes but notice that those above statements involve a sense of certainty. “Everyone will laugh at me,” and “He must not like me,” etc.

That’s the most dangerous part: thinking in language that assumes the worst with absolute certainty. This perpetuates a toxic attitude of negativity.

So, what do we do about these awful stories we tell ourselves? First, you have to be aware that it’s happening. The next time you catch yourself with a negative thought on repeat, recognize, “This is a story I’m telling myself. Just because I think it doesn’t make it true.”

It helps to question the story. Be critical! Questioning the stories take some of their power away.

When you think, “Everyone in this class is smarter than me,” ask yourself “Why do I think that? What evidence do I have? What is this story doing to shape my attitude towards the situation?”

The next step is changing the language that you are using to talk to yourself, and countering the negative story with a positive one.

Instead of, “Everyone will laugh at me during my presentation,” try, “People might laugh at me, and it also might go really well!”

Challenging the stories our brains tell us is an ongoing process that requires dedication, but the results of doing so can have amazing effects on our lives.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi