The other day I opened my mailbox to find my Ohio Primary absentee ballot. I opened it up, scanned the names and just sighed. I've been keeping up with this election since Ted Cruz became the first candidate to announce his campaign. I've watched both the Republican and Democrat debates and weighed the pros and cons of each candidate. I've talked to family and friends about their thoughts, and the truth is, I'm really not crazy about any candidate. I have absolutely no clue what to mark on my ballot. I just keep staring at it, hoping that an epiphany will overcome me, and I'll know who to vote for, but in all honesty, all I keep thinking about is Leslie Knope from "Parks and Recreation."
Ms. Knope, I know you are a fictional television character, but please run for president of the United States. We're dying over here. These candidates are so nuts. We need you. The country needs you. Here's why:
1. She would make everyone feel loved
Sure, she probably gives most of her compliments to Ann, but the truth is, Leslie is great at making people feel important. Donald Trump is going around saying horrible things about everyone, so I think Leslie should swoop in and prove to America that chivalry is not dead. Love is still alive in the world.
2. She's is a great public speaker
Leslie is constantly giving speeches, and she always nails them. Once she had the flu so bad that she thought the floors and walls were switching places. But she still went onstage and delivered a fantastic speech. When her husband, Ben, writes her speeches, he also often leaves the endings blank, allowing Leslie to improvise her grand finale and speak from her heart. She never disappoints when it comes to public speaking.
3. She could deal with the drama
Leslie is constantly being bombarded by angry community members, but they don't phase her. She's not afraid to face the hard situations and listen to people who don't like her. She doesn't crack under the pressure, and instead, she works hard to make the most out of difficult interactions. She could turn the drama into something good.
4. She's organized
Leslie is the queen of organization. She creates thick binders for almost every project she works on. She even makes binders for her friends' events as well. Nothing would get misplaced in the White House if Leslie Knope was in charge.
5. Leslie's husband Ben would make a great first man
Ben Wyatt is an accountant, so he could help manage the country's finances. He's also extremely supportive of Leslie, stepping back to let her run for Indiana Governor instead of himself. He's a rational, smart guy with a passion for calzones. He'd be a good first man for the country.
6. Leslie is hardworking
Leslie isn't just hardworking, she absolutely loves working. She always gives 110 percent no matter what project she's working on. She doesn't waste time, and always lets others help her think of creative ideas. Leslie would be able to get a lot of things done as president.
7. She isn't judgmental
Leslie isn't the type of person who wants to control everybody's lives. Instead, she wants everyone to have the opportunity to choose what's best for them. She would want to unite everyone instead of dividing the nation.
8. She would make Congress get stuff done!
Leslie constantly emails Congress whenever she thinks they need to take action on something. In the Gif above, she's emailing them about making Valentine's Day a national holiday (which it should be). Can you imagine how incessant she would be about bills regarding the economy, equality, or healthcare? She would pester them so much that they'd have to get stuff done.
9. She inspires others
Leslie is so loyal to the people she loves, that she often inspires them. Whenever she's gone, her friends are constantly asking themselves, "What would Leslie do?" By channeling their hardworking friend, they know that they can do anything. We need a president who will inspire the people of America to work and love harder. Leslie could do this.
10. She believes in people
When you feel like you bring nothing to the table, Leslie's there to pick you up off your feet and tell you you're worth it. She constantly puts other's needs before her own, and she often believes in people before they actually believe in themselves. Our country's in trouble, but Leslie could make everyone realize that they have something to offer, bringing us together and helping better the future.
Leslie, I know you can't run for president, but just know that so many of us wish you could. I guess that when we fill out our ballots we'll just have to ask ourselves that big important question, "What would Leslie do?"
