Every human living on planet Earth has experienced grief at one point or another in their lifetime. Grief comes in many shapes and sizes and it can be disguised as countless things. Most of the time uncomfortable experiences can take place at any time, therefore we can experience grief at any age in our lifetime. Grief appears in many situations and can often be found in the result of a loss. A loss of a person, a loss of an item, a loss of feeling or even a loss of opportunity. Aside from the fact that grief can appear at any time, it also has different levels of severity. It has different levels of pain, unfamiliar and uncomfortable emotions varying in duration.

Simply, without choice, almost comparable to experiencing something simply to relate to others like a rite of passage, we experience grief. Grief, in its entirety, causes distress and it is something we must heal from. Healing from grief is made up five stages including Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Each of these healing strategies take time to conquer.

After the first step, Denial, we have wholeheartedly accepted the fact that something is now missing from our life. Our first reaction, naturally is anger. We tend to think, “Why me?” and think negative thoughts about the current situation at hand. We blame someone else. We want to say nasty things to whatever caused us to experience this grief. This sentence that develops over time that seems never-ending, with no say at all. We are naturally angry. “At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything. Then you get angry at someone, maybe a person who didn’t attend the funeral, maybe a person who isn’t around, maybe a person who is different now that your loved one has died. Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger toward them.” - Greif.com We get angry at ourselves and we get angry at others. It is normal to feel this way before even considering moving to the next step.

The Anger Stage is truly an anchor and as long as we are tied to it we will sink. We need to let go of what is tearing our limbs from our bodies and get away from what is causing us discomfort. We can be angry at an ex, or angry at a coworker or family member, but the longer we hold on to these uncomfortable feelings of grief and avoid healing ourselves, we continue to attract more negative energy.

Healing grief, despite the extent to which you are experiencing it, makes us stronger and prepares us for handing grief in the future. We must accept before we can even feel angry, and we must let go of the dead weight of anger on our shoulders and move forward.

Getting over relationships is hard. Losing a friend is hard. Being denied an opportunity is hard. All corners of life can cause us grief and it is our job to learn how to heal from it. Time heals all wounds, and when it comes to anger, time is what we need. We space to heal and the understanding that we are letting go of what no longer serves us. To hold on forever, to the built up anger and all of the negative feels, is a death sentence. To be free, we must heal.

The Anger Stage is one that far too many are familiar with. Just because we have to go through this healing process multiple times in our life does not mean it gets easier, but it means that we are at least prepared. Let go of the anger and heal yourself from the grief.