As the table for the Thanksgiving feast is cleared and we find ourselves slowly seeping into a massive food coma, we can't help but reflect on what we are thankful for. Friends, family, the new Star Wars movie; we are lucky to have all of these things. However, we must not forget to give thanks to the sacrifice made by the real hero of this bountiful day.
Yes, friends, I'm talking about the turkey. If it weren't for this valiant martyr that we all cook and feast upon, there would be no awkward conversations at the dinner table between in-laws or people beating the living snot out of others over a discounted electric juicer. This lovely bird is the very symbol of this wonderful day and, without it, Turkey Day just wouldn't be Turkey Day. So a toast! With fork in one hand and our second helping of pumpkin pie in the other, let us remember our feathered friend with some interesting and informative facts that put the spotlight on him or her.
1. Male turkeys are called "gobblers" after the iconic "gobble" sound that they make to attract the females, which are called hens. I would say that a nice romantic dinner or a nice walk on the beach would suffice instead, but when you have no money or opposable thumbs for that matter, this seems like it will have to do.
2. Both genders of the bird have a snood (that dangly appendage on their face) and the wattle (the red dangly bit under the chin). A snood and a wattle? How scientific.
3. Turkeys can run at up to speeds of 25 miles per hour and fly as fast as 55 miles per hour. OK, this is slightly scary. Please remind me to not ever piss one off.
4. A "flock" of related male turkeys will get together to court females though only one member of the group will actually get to mate. Why does this sound so familiar?
5. So Benjamin Franklin never actually proposed that the turkey should be the national bird of the United States, though he did say it was "a much morerespectable bird" than the bald eagle we know and love. The turkey just doesn't put the same image of "freedom" into my head as the bald eagle would.
6. The wild turkey was almost hunted to extinction in the early 1900s with only around 30,000 at the lowest point. Today, many restoration projects have allowed for the wild turkey to rebound, with around seven million today. Long live the turkey!
7. Forty-six million turkeys give their lives each year on Thanksgiving, with 22 million being eaten on Christmas as well. That's a whole lot of white meat.
Gone, but never forgotten. Gobble Gobble.