1. Here's the deal: "Coyote Ugly" isn't the reality of all bars

In the three years I have been a bartender, I have not once danced on the bar, poured water all over myself, or dressed remotely like any of the bartenders in "Coyote Ugly." I am so sorry to break it to you boys. This has to be one of the most UNREALISTIC expectations of a female bartender.

Will I spray you with water? 100% — because nobody needs to be climbing on my bartop asking for shots at two in the morning. I have done it many times before to men and I will do it 100 more times. Have I wanted to dance around and have the time of my life while I'm working? YES. Do I realistically have time for that when I have seven server drink orders and drunk college girls crying and screaming for their vodka cranberries? NOPE.

It sucks because while you're all out having the time of your lives, I'm helping you forget whatever night you're having and I don't even get to dance it out.

2. If you take more than two minutes to decide what to order, I will move on and most likely NOT come back to you

Most nights, I'm the server bartender. That means I not only have to worry about drunk people coming up to the bar to order, but I also have to get all of the drinks made for the server and her tables. THAT CAN BE SO STRESSFUL.

When people take a decade to order a simple vodka cran, I literally have NO TIME for you. Don't come up to the bar without knowing what you want to drink. Plus, getting mad at the bartender for moving on from you because you don't know what you're doing is childish and makes you look like a jerk.

3. If you ask for my number, the answer will always be "no"... unless you're the hot DD

I hate when drunk guys stumble over themselves to come up to the bar and ask for my number. Sadly, because I work almost every weekend, that might have to be my dating pool — but until I know for sure, only the hot DD's will get any chance of communication with me.

I am the only girl at my bar so I don't even feel special about it anymore. Usually, I see the same people at Target the next day and let's be real... once I've seen you as a drunken mess... I don't want to date you. However, it's so funny to match with regulars on tinder and then casually see them when they first get to the bar and they're sober. I live to make them feel awkward.

4. People look at you like you don't know what you're doing... ALL. THE. TIME.

Coworkers, drinkers, college kids, and grumpy old men alike, will all look at you like you're the neighborhood idiot when you're trying to make a cocktail. I hear it all the time: "You're only 24, what could you possibly know? You wouldn't know what scotch is the best, can you grab one of the men? Oh, I'm waiting for ____ he at least knows what he's doing." AWESOME. I feel so incredibly great about myself.

Don't make your female bartenders feel stupid — it's not fun at all because it's not fun for them. I have spent nights after work crying because I don't think I can do my job. It is the worst feeling in the world when you don't have the higher sales or you didn't pull as much in credit card tips as the boys, and trust me, they don't let me forget it.

5. We might wear fake wedding rings... you'll never know

The amount of times I have had to do this is UNREAL. Here's the deal. DO NOT crawl, whistle, cat call, scream, chant, or attempt to hug me while I am bartending. We have bouncers for a reason and I am absolutely not afraid to call them downstairs to drag you out for giving me the creeps.

No woman should have to wear a fake ring in order to get men to leave her alone, but when you're being called at and grabbed... it's like Captain America's shield. It can make every creepy old man avoid you like you're a diseased cat and it's great. There are weekends where I'm like, "Hell yeah, come hit on me boys!" and then again, I have a few where I want nobody to come near you with a stick.

6. We have to stand our ground in our work environment

Yes, I need a stool to reach the top shelf liquor, and maybe I need a refresher now and then, but I do know how to do my job. As a female in a male-dominated occupation, it's hard to not to get offended when the boys take sales from you or offer to make things you're perfectly capable of making yourself.

I have to stand up for myself more than most because I'm not just a female bartender — I AM THE ONLY FEMALE BARTENDER. I have to be able to stand up for myself around drunk men, keep an eye out for who may need to be kicked out, and so much more. I know that if I ever was in danger, the boys would have my back and nothing would happen to me.

7. As a female bartender, tips can be a big hit or a big miss

I mean, there are days where you make $50 but then you have times where it's an "I just paid my rent in a weekend" kind of thing and it is fabulous. I mean it's hard to not get attached to the feeling of coming home with money in your pocket. Even if it's a slow night, you can have the nights with the right customers and still come out with hella good tips. I mean, we make LESS THAN $5.00 hourly so please TIP YOUR SERVERS AND BARTENDERS.

8. This will always be a fun party trick for when I'm older

I can't wait until I'm 40 years old, hosting a party, and I pull out my bartending skills out of nowhere. I'll always know how to make a mean old fashioned, a cosmo, or a margarita on the fly when it's been a long day at work. I can toss a vodka bottle around and make my husband and I a drink while we wait for our kids to come home.