In a quiet old town that stands forgotten in Upstate New York, the work day has come to a close after an uneventful Thursday. As I pack my things to head into town for the night to stay with my boyfriend, I notice how gloomy the day has been. Yesterday, the town shone bright with life and opportunity, and today, dark clouds have covered the town like a blanket, only to dishearten those it encompasses with its depressing grey hue. I can feel myself being depressed by this weather, but now finally being packed for the evening, I sling my overnight bag over my shoulder and step out into the grey landscape to begin my walk. Opting to take the short cut that runs through the woods and weaves alongside the town’s river, it only takes a total of five minutes before the woods fade and I am once again on the main road strolling past the old church that casts an eerie glow after dark, and the coffee shop that promptly closes at 5:30 p.m. every day. I appreciate these landmarks every time I pass them, but today, I just smile halfheartedly and continue on. Despite the town’s--and my own--melancholy due to the weather, I am forced to try and find some happiness and inspiration in my day. I almost give up on my quest when, as if sensing my yearning, God answered my prayers and revealed all the inspiration I could ever need right before my eyes.
Upon reaching the last block of my walk, I saw them; one in red and the other in grey approaching on my left. Moving without worry or stress, I watch as a father and his son round the corner of the street, both holding fishing rods in their hands. Since it is just approaching dusk, I can only assume they are returning home after a long day spent beside the riverbank, which lies just at the end of the road they have just turned off of. Within seconds, I feel the rush of inspiration, emotion, and life stir within me that I so longed for. Viewing this father and son in front of me has truly left me awestruck. To me, it is a powerful sight to behold.
It is while walking briefly behind these two travelers, that I begin to hear two songs playing like a soundtrack in my head: “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin and “Watching You” by Rodney Atkins. Although contradictory in nature, these songs reverberated through me simultaneously, both summing up the power and grace of a father and son’s relationship perfectly. So delicate in nature, yet so magnificent in strength, I couldn’t help but swell with joy when I saw this father and his son marching home in a happy bliss.
Having not been beside the riverbank with them, I find myself starting to envision what their day has been like, in addition to what kind of relationship exists between them. As I got to imagining their reality, I came to find its not hard to picture the two of them by the riverbank bonding and laughing over secrets only the two of them know. I am sure the father, being the wise expert, would have spent the first few minutes of their day making sure his son was settled and set up to fish. Once accomplished, the father probably helped guide his son’s first cast out with him, all while whispering tricks of the trade to him as the two watch the line fly over the water. His son, delighted with pride and overcome with excitement, would spend his day with his father trying to imitate every mannerism his father has. Viewing his dad in a Godly light, he will see him as the epitome of the man he should grow up to be like. His eyes will never wander far from his father as they watch and record everything he does to ensure he encompasses those traits in himself in the future. What is funny, however, is that when the father and the son look at each other, they both see the other reflected in themselves. The father sees the little boy he once was, and the son sees the man he hopes to become.
After crafting their reality in my mind, it struck me just how crucial this relationship is between a father and a son. It occurred to me that the father is the standard to which his son strives to meet. The father, in his son’s eyes, is the role model that supposedly holds all the best traits a man could have. A son’s eyes are in tuned to his father’s traits, and they are swift enough to capture every last nuisance, emotion, mannerism, and reaction exposed by his father throughout his childhood. Just like in “Watching You,” a son aspires to be his father’s best friend and mirror image. To ensure this happens, a son will do everything like his father.
Sadly, fathers are not always like the one I saw before me with his son carrying their fishing rods. Looking back, I can see now that the reason I heard “Cats in the Cradle” playing in my head was because the type of father-son relationship standing before me is sometimes considered rare. Some fathers simply don’t value making time for their son during their childhood years due to their preoccupation with trying to climb the corporate ladder. I believe this fact is why so many cry when listening to Harry Chapin’s song because it breaks peoples’ hearts to know that a little boy could be undervalued, ignored, and not loved like he should have been by his own father because work took a higher precedence. To me, a father has a crucial role in the life of his son because he is the sole man who can teach him life lessons and give him proper guidance; after all, the two are cut from the same DNA.
Because the two are alike in DNA and mentality, I have found that it is the father whom his son runs to in life for advice with girls, school, colleges, career choices, monetary problems, and many more concerns. To not have this figure present in a young boy’s life, would prove to be devastating for both the father and the son as their relationship and bond would be nonexistent, never to be salvaged again in the future. This is exactly the type of scenario the song “Cats in the Cradle” portrays. A father should be there for his son as a friend and companion, but also as a mentor in his son’s moments of hesitation and self-doubt because he has already been down the roads his son is walking or about to walk, and has already made the stupid mistakes for him. A son needs his father to show him how to avoid the same mistakes he has made as well as show him how to be a man and successful both in his career and in his family life.
With this in mind as I evaluate the father-son relationship that is now walking away from me, I have to simply smile with respect and appreciation for this little boy’s father. His father has refused to let the bond between him and his son become corrupted and broken by outside forces. It wouldn’t surprise me if this father has a busy schedule with work, as who doesn’t in this day and age, but the difference has been his dedication to spending time with his boy. By choosing his boy and bonding time, he has worked to ensure his son grows up with a best friend and mentor that will remain by his side throughout life’s ups and downs. I can say with certainty that when this little boy grows up, he will be exactly like his wonderful father. He will have remembered today and all of the peaceful and magical afternoons spent with his father for the rest of his life. And when the day comes for this son to have a boy of his own, I guarantee he and his boy will be right back down at this same riverbank fishing. Only now, the father, who was once the son has switched roles and now stands as his boy’s role model and confidant. A father’s love is irreplaceable and priceless.
Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads of the world this week. Your sons couldn’t be who they are without you and your loving support. Cheers to you.