Ah, middle school in the mid-2000s. What a time to be alive. Your Facebook wall was filled with flair, your Abercrombie denim shorts were so short they made your mom cringe, and writing song lyrics in your assignment notebook, on your Converse, in your AIM screen name, and on your jeans was your thing.
As fun as it was to write out your fave lyrics in bubble letters in your BFFs yearbook, the real fun started when you got invited (by a paper invitation handed out at school, of course) to a dance party.
Bar Mitzvah? Yup.
Twelfth birthday party?
You're in. Last day of school bash? Check, check, double check.
What made these magical, 7 to 10 p.m. parties where your parents drove and Emily's parents picked up so magical, you may ask? Obviously, the jams. Here's every song you didn't really know how to dance to because the lyrics were really explicit for a12-year-old, ranked.
21. "Party Like A Rockstar"
Why You Loved It: Nothing made you feel cooler than acting like a rockstar, and the unbelievable repetitiveness made it all too easy for your young ears to understand.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "T-t-t-totally dude!"
20. "Big Things Poppin'"
Why You Loved It: Major pump-up song for when you were getting ready for a game. You knew the lyrics were actually more explicit, but you used your Mom's email for your iTunes account, and you didn't want to get in trouble, so you bought the clean version.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Big things poppin' and little things stoppin.'"
19. "2 Step Remix"
Why You Loved It: Instant competition to see whose feet were the fastest. Remix is better, because T-Pain.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Now get jiggy wit' it."
18. "In Da Club"
Why You Loved It: It was THE best song to play at somebody's birthday party.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message:"Go shorty, it's ya birthday. We gonna party like it's yo' birthday."
17. "Smack That "
Why You Loved It: It was basically the first raunchy song you heard in sixth grade. Nostalgia, you know?
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Smack that, all on the floor."
16. "This Is Why I'm Hot"
Why You Loved It: Perfect caption for your new Facebook profile pic!
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "I'm hot 'cause I'm fly, you ain't 'cause you not!"
15. "Pop Bottles"
Why You Loved It: There was nothing like winning a county title and celebrating with this one.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "OK we poppin' champagne like we won the championship game!"
14. "Tipsy"
Why You Loved It: The only drink available at your party was Sprite, but the sugar high was enough for you to act turned up.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Teen drinking is very bad. YO I GOT A FAKE ID THOUGH!"
13. "Drop It Like It's Hot"
Why You Loved It: The tongue click. Obviously.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "SnoooooooOOp!"
12. "Pop, Lock, and Drop It"
Why You Loved It: Your dancer friends looked so cool when they popped, locked, and dropped it. You thought you could, too.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "If yo' mama gave it to you baby girl let it show."
11. "Laffy Taffy"
Why You Loved It: The simple, three-beat count that played the entire duration of the song made it easy to snap to.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Girl this ain't a dance floor, this a candy store."
10. "Yeah!"
Why You Loved It: Intro got you HYPE. You loved the clap at the end, too. Lil' Jon got the beat to make your booty go (clap).
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Peace up. A-town down."
9. "Sexy Can I?"
Why You Loved It: So polite. I mean, what other rapper asks before making a move? Thanks, Ray J.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "It's a Kodak moment, let me go and get my camera."
8. "Crank That"
Why You Loved It: Any dance that ended in you attempting to fly like Superman was a winner.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Haters get mad 'cause I got me some bathin' apes."
7. "Low"
Why You Loved It: The dance came out, and suddenly you had a routine to perform with your besties.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Shorty had them apple-bottom jeans, boots with the fur."
6. "Cyclone"
Why You Loved It: [Moves body around in violent attempt to get crush to look at you.]
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "She ain't even playin' when she shakin' that rumpa."
5. "Get Low"
Why You Loved It: So easy to dance to, and it gave you an excuse to scream at the top of your lungs.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "To the window...to the wall!"
4. "We Fly High"
Why You Loved It: One word: BALLIN'.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "BALLIN'!"
3. "Lollipop"
Why You Loved It: This song made you feel bad. Definitely not appropriate for your age group. Oh well?
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Shorty wanna thug..."
2. "Buy U A Drank"
Why You Loved It: T-Pain was the GOAT. Also, you loved singing "Ooh, ooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh," with all your pals.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Baby girl, what's your name?"
1. "Whatever You Like"
Why You Loved It: Honestly, I still love this song. It is not uncommon for me to put this on at every fraternity I enter. In the words of Tom Haverford, it's a banger.
Lyric Most Likely To Be Your Away Message: "Baby you can have whatever you like."
Honorable Mentions:
"Bartender," "The Way I Live," "Stronger," "Walk It Out," "Kiss Kiss," "Salt Shaker." All good jams.
Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Middle school may have been the worst three years of your life, but at least you suffered through it with some quality tunes playing on your iPod Nano.
